like 2 pigs fighting under a blanket.

38 weeks today. I'm surprised the books & websites actually say anything besides "Seriously, you haven't had that baby yet? Geez." No real baby updates, just reminders of what to bring to the hospital with me (my hospital bag is a little out of control at the moment, I need to remember this isn't a luxury weekend in the Poconos).

My colostrom has come in, which scared the bejeezus out of me. I knew it had to come some day but did it have to appear while watching a Family Guy episode where it was basically 30 minutes straight of Peter singing "The Bird is the Word"? I will forever tie my ability to breastfeed my poor child to that god-awful song. No actual leaking or messiness yet so that's good.

All else is good too. Just large and scary and am prone to nap at a moment's notice. I'm finally kind of out of work mode, but I miss it. I can guarantee that I would be less than useless if I was still working this week. I don't have the brainpower to deal with Dr. Phil and Oprah let alone real people. I only watch cooking shows and Antiques Roadshow because they're mindless pleasure.

My mom gets here in 2 days and I'm super excited!!! I need to get some energy to straighten this place up a bit and get the guestroom looking a bit more inviting. And I get my hair done tomorrow, which will be very nice & relaxing. I have a very selfish hope that I'll go into labour on a good hair day so I will look nice in photos but I'm not holding my breath and am packing a headband in my hospital bag just in case. Maybe a jaunty scarf would be better?

Okay, I'm off. There is some sort of bird rebellion going on in a palm tree in our neighbours yard and those birds have been screeching for 2 hours straight. I'm about to find something to throw at them.

the final countdown

So I'm on maternity leave now. It's freaking me out - it just feels like I'm taking fake sick days and I feel guilty when I leave the apartment until I remember that I'm not playing hooky and I'm not sick so I don't have to be on the couch all day. I also feel unemployed and that's breaking my heart because I love my job. We watched Wolverine on Sunday, followed by the Logie Awards (Australia's Emmy's basically) so RGM's clients were everywhere and I just felt sad that I'm out of their lives for 12 months. I'm going to have to stay in the gossip loop or I'll go crazy.

The baby has finally dropped, which is awesome. No more rib beatings and less heartburn, better breathing, all sorts of fun stuff. Now of course all pain and discomfort is much lower so every time there's a cramp or a pressure I think "Oh, here it is. Here we go - I'm going into labor." But then it passes in 30 seconds and I feel like a drama queen. It's going to get old very quickly.

Our family had the big Skype baby shower on Sunday morning (Saturday night US time) & it was fantastic - I had such a great time! It was so so so exciting to see everyone but it did make me very homesick ... and also very hungry. Loved the presents I got and can't wait to actually get my hands on them!

I'm just in the middle of washing my future son's clothes. I have bought too much but he still has no pants for some odd reason. Lots of onesies, shirts, jackets, socks, etc. but nothing for his legs (except for long-legged onesies) so I'll be making a shopping trip for those soon so he doesn't freeze here in winter. I am also finally going to purchase some maternity/nursing bras so my lovely lady lumps can breathe again. Why have I been so stubborn as to not buy one before now? I don't know. I'm cheap or lazy or something. I did my own home measurements and realise that there is good reason for the pain of my bras since I am at least one cup size bigger and a couple of inches around the band as well - I really didn't think there was that much of a change but I should have paid more attention to Marcel's "Ah-ooooo-ga" noises and the steam coming out of his ears. I'm stupid.

My mom will be here on Sunday and I'm very very excited to see her! I hope I have some energy left when she arrives and I'm not a total mess. My dad arrives one day after my due date (my due date was different when we booked tickets) so I have no hope for myself at that point - I'll either be neurotically waiting for the baby to arrive or panicking over how to handle the baby that has arrived. Neither will be pretty.

Okay, I'm off to wax my stomach. Yes, you read that right - I have this hilarious peach fuzz all over my stomach that didn't exist before pregnancy and I have too much time on my hands so bye bye peach fuzz. Daytime TV is so bad in this country that I would rather rip hair off my body by its roots than watch what passes for entertainment (except Ready Steady Cook, which is also terrible but addicting).

I'll try to get new photos up soon of the stroller, basinnett, etc. but I feel a nap on the horizon so it might be tomorrow before I get around to it. Sorry.

36 weeks

Did you know that it was possible to be so stinkin' pregnant? 36 weeks just seems stupid and I've still got 4 weeks to go. Went back to the antenatal clinic today for my 36 week checkup and all is well - they took more blood and a swab of something for staphacocolooloobello ... I have no idea what it's for but I have a pamphlet I might want to crack open.

Young master Eisele is head down in position ready to go but he hasn't dropped yet so his feet are spending much of their time in my ribs, which makes me want to scream. I found out today that is back is facing to the left (which is totally fine by the way) so his little legs and arms are all over my right side. That explains why all my pain is over there and why I have to leeeean on everything like a certain young pug named Saffron. I'm thrilled that the little man is very active and healthy but he could cut down on his Kip-like kickboxing skills. Maybe he's got nunchucks in there.

I've started to call him Lebron because he feels ginormous to me like I'm smuggling Lebron James in my belly. Every time I see my doctor I expect him to say "Wow, you've got a sasquatch in there!" (sidenote: did you know that Australia has its own sasquatch legend called a Yowie? Odd.) But they all seem to think the baby is normal sized. Again, I feel like I should have put a little more research into this whole concept of pushing a full size baby out of my hoo-hah before I got pregnant. It seems a little less than pleasant now that it's around the corner.

We have still not settled on a name. We have one name but not sure if it will be first or middle and we basically have no clue what other name we want to put with it. It's a disaster - I'm so afraid that we're just going to shout out a name at the hospital and the poor boy's going to be stuck with it for the rest of his life. Poor sap.

Next week is my last week of work and while I'm going to miss my job for a year (why am I taking a year's maternity leave in this global economic crisis? I don't know.), I am finally ready to go. The commute is killing me because sitting up in a car and train aggravates both the weird sore spot on my back and encourages my inner ninja to start kicking me in the ribs. Luckily my chair at work leans way back so I can kick back in a very creepy manner and now that the lovely young lady who is taking my job is training, I just let her do my job while I hover over her shoulder telling her every move to make. She is going to love when I'm gone, poor thing!

Anyway, so basically there is still nothing new to report. All is still fine with baby and me. We got our gorgeous stroller finally (it's been stuck on a ship from New Zealand) and our nursery kinda looks like a nursery now but I still need to get our art on the walls. I'll aim to do that when I'm done working if the boy lets me have some time and energy before he decides to make his magnificent entrance.

I'll keep you posted ...

at least I'm awake

Yes, I'm still pregnant. Seems I may always be at this rate. I'm at 34 weeks now and there's really no update beyond the kid is still growing and so am I. There's my latest picture.

The fantastic part of this picture is that if you change my ballet flats to Doc Martens, this could be me in 8th grade trying my darnedest to recreate the lovely Bridget Fonda's role in Singles (I've even finally gotten the hair). God bless grunge. And Marcel pointed out that I apparently bought the same shirt for our little future rocker boy. I'm eating the apple to cover up my non made-up face as well as supplying great nutrients to the unborn one. Gold star mama.

We started our labour and parenting classes - last week was labour, tomorrow is parenting. I am now an expert in pain relief and the various positions of how to give birth. I was not aware that you had more options than the movie version of giving birth in bed. Oh no no, as I was squatting and leaning on a beanbag while Marcel massaged my back with a tennis ball and the lights were dimmed I found myself thinking "Yes, I can handle this giving birth nonsense." Something tells me when the real thing hits I'll forget all about the comfy positions and only focus on the drug lessons we learned. Bring them on.

I am exhausted if you haven't guessed. Only two more weeks of work I think, maybe three. And only six more weeks of pregnancy. I'll be glad to have my ligaments back in working, non-achy order. We have a 4-day weekend this weekend for Easter so I'm eager to get caught up on sleep and do little things like pack my bag for the hospital just in case I go early. I'd also kill to go a movie but there's absolutely nothing out worth seeing over here and my odd spot on my back hurts so bad in theatre seats that it's not worth the popcorn after all. Pregnancy is definitely a downer now & then.

I think I had other things to tell you but I can't remember them. Hmmmm ... we're still struggling with names. We settled on one but you know me, I can't stick to a decision if I make it too early so now I'm doubting that choice and we're back to trying out every name we hear on TV, radio or from random people. I have a feeling we'll have to decide in the hospital when we're looking at him and say "He looks like a potato." "What about Spud?" "It's perfect!" Apologies in advance to my son.

still pregnant

Here's a picture of my crib with the new GORGEOUS blanket that my mother made for me!! We had the matching pillow from ages ago and that mobile is actually adorable in person - 3 waves & 2 surfboards to inspire our future little surfer. That land whale in ethnic prints is me.

Had my next doctor's appointment today. Baby's still in there. My uterus is measuring about a week ahead of how many weeks I actually am. It's very strange how that works. All along it's matched up perfectly - when I was 24 weeks my uterus was 24 centimetres, when I was 29 weeks it was 29 centimetres. Now it's running ahead but doctor says not to worry, the baby doesn't feel big or anything like that. I'm also low on iron now so have had to start taking iron supplements, which doesn't thrill my soul because I've heard they often cause constipation and I would like to finish out this pregnancy with no troubles from that end of the spectrum please.

All else is well, he's in head down position and ready to go. Still an active chap kicking and punching in there constantly.

Cank it up

Oh, the tree stumps are back this week. Cankles are dirty bitches. It's especially annoying because they don't actually cause trouble or hurt but they're a little uncomfy and the most unsightly situation on earth. I had my feet elevated last night and Marcel kept getting freaked out when he'd catch a glimpse of them. Such a supportive hubby - where are my foot rubs??

My mom sent me the blanket for my crib. It's the most beautiful thing on earth!! I actually got all choked up opening the box at work and showed it off to my coworkers. I'll post a picture of it this weekend and I'll update the photo of me with my gargantuan belly and my new haircut. I'm getting it coloured tomorrow (the hair, not the belly) so I'll wait until after that. My terrible baby brain caused me to straighten my hair without actually turning the heat on the straightener today so I don't look so stylin' ... I actually have Milhouse's mom's hair when it's a bit puffy like today but I'm about to be a mom so I suppose I'm allowed the occasional mom hair day. Mom jeans on the other hand shall never touch my ass.

31 weeks today & the little devil is still poking, kicking and pushing me around. I'll admit I take some small delight knowing that his room is getting smaller so he only has so many options with how he can harass me. But I've started with pretty big Braxton Hicks contractions so I'll be walking along, suddenly my womb seizes up and I have to stop whatever I'm doing like a crazy person and just stand there until I can move again comfortably or I'll just waddle. I also have an odd stabbing pain in the middle of the left side of my back that makes me want to hurt someone. It causes me to lean a lot to stay comfortable. Finding myself cursing on public transport has forced me to make a massage appointment for tomorrow so hopefully that will solve this dilemma.

Anyway, here's the update:
Your baby's arms, legs and body continue to fill out -- and they are finally proportional in size to her head. She weighs about 1.5 kilograms and looks more like a newborn. She measures about 41 centimetres from crown to toe. You may notice your baby isn't moving around as much. Don't worry; she's just running out of space in your uterus. As long as you can feel her squirming, you'll know she's just fine. Believe it or not, she still has plenty of growing to do. You can expect her to gain at least 900 grams more before delivery. Your baby's organs are continuing to mature and she is passing water from her bladder: good practice for the urinating she'll do after she's born. Soon you can wonder what your baby is wishing for -- brain scans have shown that fetuses have periods of dream sleep around month eight.

30 weeks & all is well

This week your baby continues to open and shut his eyes. He can probably see what's going on in utero, distinguish light from dark and even track a light source. If you shine a light on your stomach, your baby may move his head to follow the light or even reach out to touch the moving glow. Some researchers think baring your stomach to light stimulates visual development. But don't expect 20/20 vision when your baby is born -- newborns can see a distance of only about 20 to 30 centimetres. (Children with normal vision don't reach 20/20 vision until about age 7 to 9.) To complete the picture, your baby now has eyebrows and eyelashes.

Around a litre of amniotic fluid now surrounds your baby but that volume decreases as he gets bigger and has less room in your uterus. As you and the baby continue to grow, don't be alarmed if you feel breathless, as if you can't get enough air; it's just your uterus pressing against your diaphragm.

Had a checkup last week and all seems good. Got blood tests done (glucose, iron, etc) so hopefully those will be fine as well. Why does my baby need to see what's going on inside me? It can't be pleasant. I hope he has awesome eyebrows.

Nothing else new at the moment - no progress on the nursery, still looks like we're getting an intern instead of a baby. Hopefully getting a pram/stroller this weekend. We shall see if we survive another round of testing those out. Ugh.

I'll update my stomach photo soon because I'm growing and am a moose ... or it looks like I'm smuggling a moose under my shirt.