Yawn burgers

Thought I should follow up my earlier mopefest with a perkier about life post. Here are some things that have tickled me today:

1. Ben & I went to the Erina Fair toddler playground, which is such a simple perfect little place for the kiddos to play. Anyway, today there was a father there who (BRACE YOURSELF) had the head of Daniel Craig & the body of a rugby player. I swear to you he was so amazing that I tried to find any possible way to get a picture of him but could not make it happen. Every mother there could not stop looking at the poor dude - we're lucky all of our children didn't take off for the hills while we were all distracted. Seriously, Daniel Craig face but more athletic. It shouldn't be legal. His wife came to get him & the kids & she was normal looking - I wanted to give her a high five but thought it might be awkward.

2. Just saw a preview that they're airing The Man in the Iron Mask on TV this weekend. This is one of the single worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life. I don't remember why exactly but I saw it in the theater with one of my favorite people on earth, Denise. We were giggling uncontrollably & I remember warning her that it was all over if the dude with the iron mask clunked that mask along the prison bars like the old timey guys in movies when they drag their metal mugs along them. Sure enough, he did it & I lost all dignity - it was a completely full theater & I can't imagine we were popular young ladies that day. Good times, good times.

3. Shannon was finally eliminated from Masterchef. She was driving me bananas.

4. The TV show Strange Addictions is finally here & I'm trying to not laugh at a woman who is writing a goodbye letter to her addiction to sleeping with a hairdryer.

5. There are rumors of a sunshiney day tomorrow! If this forecast comes true, we shall be staying outside - Umina playground maybe? - as long as we can physically stand it.

6. I called the Family Care Cottage (Ben & I visited them for an afternoon of sleep training wisdom last year) about Ben's non-eating situation & one of their Tresillian ladies was kind enough to chat with me for ages about it all. They are the single most reassuring, confidence-building people on God's green earth. I truly am so thankful for their existence! She gave me wonderful advice, tips & reassured me that I'm not the world's worst mother. She is also referring me on to return to the care cottage so someone can hold my hand to try some stuff out with Benny boy. Thank goodness!

7. ABC2 airs Arrested Development every Thursday night like it's new. Every week I laugh about it but I always seem to tune in whether I plan to or not. I'm sorry but there is no hope of anyone ever being funnier than the Bluth family.

8. I have the silliest, most wonderful, aggravating, gorgeous, maddening, silly son on earth.

9. The heated mattress cover on my bed is warming up as I type so I can settle in shortly & play stupid word games on my iPod Touch before I pass out. Don't worry, I turn the heater thing off once I get in bed so Fonzie doesn't have a chance to get too toasty in there.

10. I found the bloody remote control! I was using the DVD remote control just to control the volume & it slid down the side of the couch (yes, I had checked it already a few times) & when I dug down deep to get it, there were TWO remotes waiting for me. Cha-ching!

Hey sunshine.

So while peeking at eonline, which is plastered with pictures of the Kardashians, Ben pointed to Khloe & said "Mama!" I can accept that, well done. Then he pointed to the mom of the family & said "Dada!" Bwahahahaha, poor Marcel can't win.

We have lost the TV remote. Like, it's G-O-N-E. I have searched all the places that Ben likes to squirrel things away & have looked everywhere that I am likely to leave things I've wandered off with. No luck. If Marcel was here, he'd go all Horatio from CSI: Miami & look somewhere that I've already looked 5 times, pull it out, give me a withering glare & push his sunglasses back on his head. Sidenote: Marcel does not own sunglasses. Isn't that weird? He hates them but I know he's thought about getting some just so he can "Horatio" around the house making me feel like a moron. Anyway, hopefully we'll find the remote somewhere bizarre in the next day or two - I'll keep you posted.

Can I ask you mothers a question? Do you toddler ever leave things alone? Ben will get into every cabinet every opportunity he gets, take little things off of shelves, etc. over & over & over & over ... you get the picture. We have those awful looking little plastic latches on our kitchen cabinets but over time they break or the glue melts or Ben somehow figures ways to pry them open & I refuse to put them anywhere else in the house because they're hideous & I refuse to screw anything in to cabinets either. I'm hoping I've just asked the wrong people about it because the few I've spoken to say their toddlers lose interest in things after a while of being told no repeatedly. Okay, it's been over a year with Ben & he will still rearrange everything in any cabinet he can, still takes everything off my bedside table & we can't really have any decorations or my beloved knick knacks at a lowish height.

I bring this up because I just got done rescuing this tiny little porcelain bowl with a butterfly perched on the side that I keep filled with random extra buttons & pins on my bedside table. It was a gift from a lovely client & just precious & perfect. Ben dumped it all into the cup of water that I made the mistake of leaving there. I left two broken necklaces there too weeks ago (I wonder who broke them by the way?) as a reminder to get them fixed. They are now completely missing! If he ever goes down for his nap today I need to pull the table out & search all around & under it - if it's not there, I'm terrified he's chucked them into the bags I have waiting to take to charity so that will be a fun digging expedition. These necklaces were both gifts for major events in my life - college graduation & Ben's birth so not my usual cheap crap & with beautiful fine little chains, which is how I love them. Ben can pop through those gold chains like they're play-doh. What am I going to do with two of these little demons?

Need to go check on him now to make sure he's still got his diaper on in bed ... okay, all good for now. I am thinking of going back to the family care cottage to help me with his non-eating & to wean him off the milk that he would drink 24 hours a day if he could. I am smart enough to realize that he's not going to eat as long as he's holding out for that milk but unfortunately I'm not strong enough to take the first steps without support. Can ANYTHING about raising children just be freaking easy????

On the plus side of today, the sun has come out of hiding for the first time in weeks! I hope it sticks around so we can actually get outside a bit. And I would like to thank the neighbor who is taking advantage of said nice weather so that he can grind, drill or whatever it is he is doing in his garage that is mere feet from Ben's window, guaranteeing no nap will be possible. Don't these people realize that I need the boy to SLEEP? I'm going to make a chocolate meringue pie once he drifts off to slumber land & I need that pie, darn you.

Sorry for always venting on here by the way - I know it's a drag to listen to someone whine all the time & I'm not depressed or anything, just full of things to whine about. Now I'm off to make about 50 phone calls & hopefully get some things done - if Ben magically falls asleep in the meantime I will be the happiest mama alive.

Stocking up

The husband & I went on a mini-shopping spree on Friday. Please keep in mind that our so-called sprees involve a lot of clearance bargain shopping because we have a history of cheapness & now also have the joy of quasi-poorness. Don't feel sorry for us - our cars are paid off, we're getting close with our one credit card, our house is the only major debt so it's a chosen poorness. Anyway, the point of this post is a few of the goodies I bagged!

This handsome thing is my new diaper/nappy bag from the lovely Country Road clearance. Not dirt cheap by any means but it was pushed below the $100 mark so I scooped it up. I don't think I have to tell you how smitten I am with stripes & this bag of heaven is faded, worn-in blue stripes with battered brown leather & is the perfect size for all the newborn necessities plus snacks, drinks & change of clothes for what we hope will be a potty-trained (or at least in-progress) Ben. 

Now I've got my eyes peeled for a decent bag insert to give this thing some shape & organizing compartments to work with. 

Oh heavens, look what Bonds has done. For you Americans that don't know the Bonds company, it's just the basics of clothing - undies, socks, loungie clothes for grown-ups plus adorable pj's, onesies, etc. for babies. Now they've gone & busted out a pair of penguin pants! I scooped one up for each of my little penguins - I figure it's about darn time I start branding these kids appropriately.

I like how each picture is darker than the last - I'm obviously a very good photographer.

Anyway, I finally hunted down a baby book that I like. I didn't realize what a chore this would be because I just bumped into Ben's at Target, loved it, scooped it up dirt cheap & just assumed that's how it happened. It ain't how it happens, folks. I've been googling for weeks trying to find one I like overseas to have shipped over after finding nothing I liked in stores around here. Striking out left & right. 

I didn't want one as detailed as Ben's was - just the basic birth details, place for birth announcements, hospital bracelet & list of firsts then just basically a photo album. I'd checked Target about once a week for a couple of months now then suddenly yesterday they had this one on clearance for $17. Yee-haw! Not sure how it didn't exist before & suddenly showed up on sale but I'm not one to question the universe. Yes I am. Nevermind. 

Best part is the brownish theme of things of hanging from a rope because that's exactly how I'm decorating Fonzie's little corner of our room - browns, beiges, neutral colors (okay, with some pops of brightness from accessories/art) & am going to have a couple of lines of twine beside his bassinet to hang artwork from instead of picture frames so they're more interchangeable, able to have more variety & less likely to fall & harm the poor boy. Score.

Okay, I didn't buy this on our shopapalooza but I saw the photo online & was charmed.

Charlie Chaplin meets Helen Keller. 

Maybe posting this will prove that I'm not the anti-Helen Kellerite that people once thought I was after a few passionate speeches that ran along the lines of "What's the big deal with Helen? Annie Sullivan is the one who did all the work ..." Ahhh Ashley, you & your lectures. 

Now I am going back to reality to deal with a child who is avoiding his nap as always, managed to finagle his diaper off from under his pj's, so still managing to make his regular mess in the bed while his other set of sheets is in the washer as we speak recovering from yesterday's leaking diaper. Surely, I have had enough urine-based annoyances for one lifetime. Any volunteers to potty train for me? Anyone? No? 

Good hair

I am having a good hair day. These are so few & far between that I feel I have to shout about it from the mountain tops. Unfortunately, there are no mountain tops nearby so I'm pestering you instead. I let my  hair dry on its own from time to time & it never goes well - those are the days I am willing to let the ponytail own me for the day. I still have to dry my bangs/fringe no matter what because you have not seen tragedy until you've seen the cowlicks at the front of my head let loose.

Anyway I am actually kinda happy with the reddish shade today, which is weird since just yesterday I was vowing to shave it all off just so I could start again with the whole coloring fiasco. Bad hair brings the drama in my world. So mix the decent color with some halfway decent waves & I was happy today.

Then I attempted to capture the good hair day on ye olde digital camera. It did not go well. Why is that? If you look good how does that not automatically transfer to looking good on camera? Where does the pretty go & where does the troll come from?

Exhibit A

I don't even know how my face does this. *sigh*

Exhibit B

I used to want to be in a band when I was young.

I adored Justine Frischmann from Elastica who was Britpop's queen.

I wanted to be her so I could date Damon Albarn & sing kick assily.

She made this face on one magazine cover.

I have been trying to replicate it ever since.

I should stop.

 Exhibit C

Have you noticed when you type a word enough it starts to look wrong?

That's what's happening with "Exhibit" for me.

Am I spelling that right?

 Exhibit D

I started giving up right around here.

Notice the light has all but gone away? 

The day was telling me to just enjoy my good hair & not drag anyone else into it.

 Exhibit E

Stupid day didn't realize I was willing to turn on a lamp.

And stick my head close to said lamp.

Too bad that washed out my color.

And made me look crazy.

Exhibit F

Oh wait, that's not me.

It's Justine Frischmann snarling like it's meant to be done.

A certain amount of years later & she still looks more awesome.

Better hair, better clothes, better snarl.

Point made, moving on.

Good times

So yesterday was a nice day. Ran some errands with my little man, then when he fell asleep in the car I drove to Terrigal as usual with a book & an eye to the sea. Finally got to watch some whales in their annual  migration up the coast - I had forgotten exactly how exciting that is for me. Just the distant mist of their spout calms my soul for some odd reason & if I get to see a tail or a fin splash, I am tickled pink. At one point I was reading my book but a humpback splashed so big that I actually saw it out of the corner of my eye so I got to watch it breech a few times & splash around for a good minute or so before going under for her sounding dive. Few things in nature make me as happy as a whale on the horizon!

Then on the exact opposite extreme of what delights me, last night was another Chicks at the Flicks. Watching Bridesmaids with an awesome group of ladies was the perfect end to the day. I can honestly say that it is the funniest movie I've seen in aaaaages ... dare I say ever! I think we all agreed that that we would have been happy to sit through it again immediately had they given us the option. I never buy movies on DVD but I shall be investing in this one - hysterical & gorgeous, well done ladies. Here is where I stop myself from talking about how great of friends Kristen Wiig & I could be because that's creepy.

Go see this movie now.
You won't regret it.
Call me, Kristen Wiig - we'd be awesome together. 

And true to the Chicks at the Flicks experience (now that I'm an expert after going to TWO of them), they had a lovely bag of goodies with snacks, a magazine, lip gloss, etc. Plus they kept the wedding theme going with vendors providing cupcakes, cake pops, mini cupcakes & other things that weren't cake related but I had no use for those. They gave away door prizes & somehow I got beaned by a bouquet of flowers that I brought home & still need to put in some water. Good times, good times. I need to start working on a costume for the next CATF, which is the Grease sing a long! I am envisioning an entire theater full of pink ladies. Hmmm, I guess I'll be a very pregnant pink lady - I wonder if I could get Olivia Newton John's tiny pants to stretttttttch over my swollen ass. Nevermind.

All else is well. Today we are home all day because I am in a spending frenzy this week - can not restrain from buying things. Trying to turn that into a cleaning frenzy instead while we're indoors but it's not quite translating. I would settle for a cooking frenzy but that ain't happening either. May have to venture out for some groceries but am trying to even put that off until tomorrow morning for absolutely no good reason. Ben is napping after a fairly minimal struggle. He had a tick on his head this morning, by the way! We had a picnic by Lake Macquarie last weekend so now I have visions of this damn tick wandering around Ben for the last several days before making its way to his noggin today. I got it out with no drama & am pretty certain I got its ding dang head intact but will be keeping an eye on the spot just in case. And yes, I've followed up with a very thorough check of all those little hidden crevices, my apologies to Ben.

He may be stirring as we speak so I'm off to do some last minute cleaning that is hard to do when he's up & about. Enjoy your Thursday or Wednesday or whatever it is where you are.

Chain reaction

So I had grand plans for today, I truly did. I was even knocking things off the list straight off the bat - have my black beans soaking to make some black bean soup for dinner tonight (sidenote: black beans aren't in grocery stores here - tracked some down at the Asian supermarket, thankfully), made a gorgeous sugar cookie dough that is chilling in the fridge, was going to sit down with some water to kick my feet up for a few minutes. Made the mistake of checking on my darling son who was entertaining himself very well today. What do you think I found? What do I always find???

So the boy was playing in his room with no pants, no diaper, poopy footprints everywhere with his missing diaper & pants tucked into the oven of his play kitchen. Lovely. So technically this shouldn't have thrown off my whole day but my system is balancing very precariously these days & this just pushed the first domino over. Such a day deserves mixed metaphors.

Sooooo ... Ben went into the bathtub, diaper to the trash, pants into the washing machine but I refuse to wash them alone, which means I had to do a full load of laundry, which meant I had to empty the basket full of clean clothes sitting in our room, which means I had to put them away, which means I have to finish organizing my closet so that they'll actually fit in there. Then on to Ben's room, where I had to scrub the poop off the floor, which led to sanitizing, which means I'll have to vacuum when it dries & means I was down on the floor realizing how long it's been since I've cleaned his toys, which led to dusting, which led to wiping everything down with anti-bacterial wipes. And I won't be able to vacuum until I've picked up everything in the room so I may as well just make it a fully cleaning day in there today. Then if I'm vacuuming I may as well vacuum our bedroom as well & then the stupid rug in the loungeroom that is currently covered in popcorn thanks to a disasterous snack time. AAACCCCKKKK!!!!

So I went from the tip top of domestic diva land this morning to back in my usual domestic ditch. I have to stop trying to aim for pretty much any accomplishments since there is always some annoying setback. How much of a sad sack am I?

Anyway, I can hear my son quietly playing in the dining room & now see that he's pulled down the fruit bowl, which today includes a hot pepper so I should probably go stop him before any new disaster hits this household. If you have any sanity to spare (or a very cheap babysitter), please send it my way!

Thursday

Oh my goodness, it's one of those days. It's always one of those days isn't it? This particular day has been pretty okay but Ben is in a clingy mood so I haven't had a moment of peace & haven't been able to accomplish a thing. On one hand I obviously adore when he wants to be around me at all times because we read a lot of books, sing songs & do a lot of playing. On the other hand, I can't make a shopping list without getting either the pen or paper stolen 50 times & I can't put laundry away because someone is pulling things out of the basket & unfolding everything that I fold. I had a book & a glass of water set up by the chair, thinking that if he played outside I'd take a few minutes to relax & watch him through the door but that was ruined minutes later when I caught him dunking my bookmark into my glass of water. Fair enough, I guess I'll find my place later tonight & read when he's in bed.

I know I shouldn't complain because our days alone are numbered & then he & his little brother will grow up before I know it & leave me behind. Is it wrong to fantasize every once in a long while about those days when I'll be able to organize my closet in one go instead of having to drag it out for a few days because someone likes to undo my progress & drag out extra things & spill things that I have to clean up or pull off his pants & diaper & pee on the floor? Speaking of which, hold on while I go clean up a spot of pee on his floor! How did I forget?

Do you want to know one of the things I miss most about working? This is stupid, I don't know why I'm telling you this but I really miss the random conversations that you really wouldn't have anywhere else. Someone reads a piece of gossip & next thing you know you're lecturing your coworker on why Kim Kardashian isn't so bad. Seriously, I have no one in my life to discuss Kim Kardashian with! I can't bring myself to call someone & just say "Sooo, what about those crazy Kardashians?" Wait, would it be krazy Kardashians? Anyway, so I'm dragging you into it instead. I don't hate those girls. I've watched maybe three episodes of their show & could not understand why it was a show - they did NOTHING & their voices are so monotone that I wanted to shake them. And yet I liked them. I have absolutely no reason to like them but I do. I think I could hang out with them & enjoy myself, though I seriously hope they're more animated in real life. I can't explain the feeling behind this - I'm not one of those who latches on to TV people regularly & I only read gossip magazines when I'm getting my hair done but yet I can't look away when one of their gorgeous heads pops up in something. What is the deal?????

While I'm in confession mode, I have to tell you how happy I am that Offspring is back on channel 10! I adore this show & am glad I can jump back in after missing the last half of the first season while travelling to America last year. The first episodes of this season already have me tickled & let me tell you why. No, no, let me show you why:

Matt Le Nevez, my friends. Weird picture of him. Anyway, he is a brooding creature of loveliness. Yes, he was a questionable character for the start of this season but I think we all know where this is going & I am happy to see him replace the handsome & formerly irreplaceable Don Hany. I knew this fellow in another life, back when I worked at the acting agency - I specifically remember him taking his shirt off in front of my desk while discussing with one of the agents his work with a personal trainer. It was one of those days when I realized how much I truly loved my job! *sigh* I miss my job. Anyway, any of you Australians who want a good juicy show give Offspring a shot.

Okay, now I'm on a roll of rambling & can't stop so feel free to stop reading but here we go. Wait, if we were talking face to face you'd see this is the face I'm making

Yes, this is my "Why am I telling you these things?" face. Hmmm ... it's also my "I know I put makeup on today so where did it go?" face. Also for the record, it's a reminder that I still haven't gotten my bangs trimmed & those evil layers are still hanging around - as soon as they are long enough to be done away with, I shall be getting rid of them. 

Anyway, do you want to know what I have officially started? My hospital bag. June has just begun. I will be in the hospital the last week of September. That is almost four months I have to prepare my hospital bag & because I'm having a c-section, I will have an exact date so I could basically wait until the day before & throw it all together (unless Fonzie is over a week early)(which he won't be). But no, you should know by now how neurotic I can be about packing. The older I get the wackier I get.

My last stay in the hospital when I welcomed the handsome Benjamin to our lives, I didn't feel so great. I don't mean I was in pain after the major surgery or nervous about having a new little life to figure out - it was the little things like wearing pj's that I hated & feeling like I was a mess, not pulled together at all. This time I am going in with guns blazing! I have already bought new pj's for the hospital & some slipper/bootie things that feel like heaven. I bought myself a new toiletry bag at the big Country Road sale the other day (also got a pair of pj pants & makeup bag too - such a good sale) & am keeping my eye out for little comforts to pack away with me like comfy underwear that won't pressure my incision. I know it's psycho but I'm going to be comfy & fabulous in my little corner of that public hospital room! I'll keep you posted.

Okay, Ben is quiet at the moment & I see my library books strewn across the next room so I'm off to save them from destruction. Hope you're having a great day my friends!