Mirror, mirror on the wall

Who truly was the fairest of them all? 

I promise to keep my royal wedding hysteria to this one post & never to utter another word about how it bewitched me, made me cry (pregnancy hormones alert) or made my cynical heart grow two sizes. 

Whatever, even non-romantic girls are allowed to love a good wedding from time to time.

This one did not disappoint. Sure, I was underwhelmed about the use of those trees that we saw being hauled in. They looked lovely, don't get me wrong, but they had my imagination running wild. I guess it's not really possible to have dim lighting & twinkle lights & hanging lanterns in Westminster Abbey - I can't even imagine how many light & lanterns that would take. And dim lighting would be a disaster with all those rogue fancy hats darting about as well. Yikes.

Anyway, on to the nitty gritty folks. Who knocked your socks off in this beautiful bunch of British charmers? 

Okay, these may be the obvious choices. 

She nailed it with the dress choice.

He brought that little girl fantasy of Prince Charming to life.

But was the new Duchess of Cambridge upstaged by her sister Pippa?

Marcel gave his stamp of approval on her church cleavage.

She handle those kids with grace & poise.

I am mad for a dress with a cowl neck.

The the girl went & blew it out of the park with her reception dress.

This is my kind of fairy tale dress - love that green!

I do hope she ate her heart out at the reception along with Kate.

I can't imagine the pressure of wanting to look nice for billions of people so I'm not saying they got too skinny by any means - they looked fantastic. But yeah, I hope they ate one of everything in that place.

Probably fair to say these royal hot messes didn't make anyone's best dressed list.

I think they were protesting the royal shunning of the Ferg-meister.

If I had an appropriate hat, I would join them.

But I will never own a hat like either of those.

Oh Harry, who knew you'd be the better looking one?

Was I the only one wondering about his ginormous shoulders?

If the sight of this man in a carriage of little flower girls didn't warm your heart, you are a robot.

Good heavens, almighty.

Posh looked mighty nice but look at dapper David Beckham!

Ding, ding, ding, ding!

We have a winner. 

He wins because I'm too lazy to look for any more pictures & I've forgotten where these have come from - most from gofugyourself.com, maybe one from people.com & eonline.com. That should cover that.

Who did I forget? Did you even care? 

I've got to go wake up my napping son & husband so we can get on with our afternoon.

Hope you enjoyed the royal festivities & if not, I will not knock you over the head with them again.

But come on, isn't it gorgeous to see young people in love??? 

take two

Okay, I tried to do a post earlier & the formatting was ALL over the place - I had pasted something into the blog & that always throws everything off for some odd reason so I just deleted it. These new-fangled computers are witchy little creatures aren't they?

So little Fonzarelli is getting active, squirming & somersaulting like the wild child I know he is. It's not the "real" kicking that you can feel from the outside, just feels like my belly is squirrelly from time to time. I forgot how much it feels like an alien is in there when the kid has started movin' & a'groovin'. I'm eager for him to be big & strong enough so that Marcel can feel him bumping around too but I guess I've got to be patient. I'm just 17 weeks now & he is the size of an onion now apparently - only a million gazillion weeks left!

I'm getting quite eager for the royal wedding tomorrow, I'm not ashamed to admit. Seeing all those trees moved into Westminster Abbey brought a very big smile to my face - I think we've got a lively one with young Kate & I can't wait to see how beautiful & over the top this sucker's gonna be! Also eager to see how she went with her dress - she's worked in fashion so will she push the envelope or stick to safe & traditional?

I shall be celebrating with newly cut, coloured & styled hair - yes, I shall be fresh from the salon but I will have moved into my pj's so I can celebrate just the way Queenie WISHES she could. I wonder what the Queen's jammies are like? Anyway, because the wedding is on at a reasonable hour here I'll get Ben to bed & then Marcel & I will be whoopin' it up with the Windsors & Middletons. Does Marcel know this? No & it's best not to warn him lest he fake an injury to get out of it. I think we'll keep it simple with tea & crumpets, which seems plenty British to me without me having to do any work. Maybe baked beans & toast? Such sophisticated choices.

I've been suffering a bit of heartburn the past couple of days. Figures that I would finally lose the constant nausea then get lovely heartburn instead but it's pretty minor thus far so fingers crossed that it doesn't get worse anytime soon. Last pregnancy I had it pretty severely but that wasn't until I was much further along. That doesn't mean anything, though, I guess. Anyway, this is boring.

Oh yeah, let me tell you what terrible headline I saw today. Nothing much just an 18 month old soccer player that has already been signed by a professional team because he shows so much promise! You fools told me that Ben & I were Li'l Kickers drop-outs because kids that young weren't meant to play soccer & I couldn't expect that much from him so young. Thanks doofuses, I could have had a little Beckham on my hands. Oh my, I wouldn't mind having a little Beckham on my hands. See what I did there??? I'll blame my hormones.

Alright, I'm outy. Enjoy your Royal Wedding Eve ... unless you aren't the kind to enjoy such revelry then you go back to your troll's den & be a grouch, why don't you.

Why can't I come up with any witty titles these days?

Another rainy day, people. What are we to do? In the few minutes of clear sky we had some fun in the backyard, Ben sliding on a soaking wet slide & wearing his too-small gum boots. Adding new awesome boots to his list of 2nd birthday presents!

Got a great phone call a little while ago - the final results from our amniocentesis came in & all is officially well!! Very excited & relieved to hear that. There was a teeny tiny chance of something being wrong even after that first set of results & at the rate we have been going, we were more than a teeny tiny bit nervous. High five to being clear of those chromosomal issues.

In other wonderfully exciting good news, I am getting my hair done on Friday! Yes, I just had a haircut a couple of weeks ago but I don't count it because she butchered my layers & only cut half of my bangs - I've been wearing them brushed over so told her to cut them shorter but angle them for leaving them to the side. She didn't do that & she only bothered to cut the one side. WTF? Yes, I know I should have gone back & demanded a redo but I am too stubborn to return to someone who has made a mistake (& in 2011 the Rachel is a mistake!) with my hair. Allure, here I come! And yes, I'm going for the Ophelia:

I am aware that getting a hair cut is not going to give me long luscious bouncy locks but I can at least get my shape ready, my bangs done properly & finally get the red hair I've been thinking about for months. I'm very excited & shall obviously post "after" pictures when I'm done. Anything is better than my current "before." Nevermind. Do you ever open Photo Booth to take a quick picture of yourself when you think it will be pretty or in this case, funny then when Photo Booth pops up you look like a fat troll that has stumbled into some terrible lighting under its bridge. Holy moly, where did that 3rd chin come from? And where did my makeup go? It's a sure way to destroy what's left of my self-esteem that's for sure!

Man oh man, I have been cleaning on & off all day but you would never be able to tell. I'm not sure what black hole I've wandered into that causes me to clean, scrub & straighten then have nothing to show for it at the end of the day. I've decided that today is cleaning surfaces, washing dishes & a couple of loads of laundry, then tomorrow is sweeping, mopping, vacuuming & the rest of the laundry. Are you still awake? I'm very sorry but I have nothing else going on in my life at the moment. Should I start making up stories about the wild parties I'm going to at night (after getting Ben off to sleep, of course) with Mick Jagger & Elton John? HOW OLD AM I? Could I choose some contemporary celebrities??? Do people even use the word "contemporary" anymore? I'll be sure to ask the Kardashians & Robert Pattinson & those crazy kids from the Jersey Shore at my next wild shindig. Dang, they don't say "shindig" either do they?

Anyway, now that I've messed up my kick-ass reputation I'm off to dry my sheets. Beat that, jerks.

Rain, rain go away

Shit just got real, ya'll. This pregnancy has gotten organized. I bought a "compendium" to keep all my test requests, results, scan images, lists of questions & random research all straight. Compendium, huh? Who knew that was a word? Not I. Basically, it's a boring Trapper Keeper for adults - no Lisa Frank available, no dancing horses, no boy bands. My overactive 14 year-old inner self is itching to cover it in stickers or write cute boys names all over it but I fear none of the medical professionals would take me seriously if I waltzed in with an eyesore like that. I am incredibly proud of how organized everything is in there & can't wait to zzzzip that satisfying velcro at my next appointment. Woo-doggy, people are going to take notice of my awesome organizational skills let me tell you.

I can't remember when my last update was for you so I'll give you the rundown of my last midwife appointment. They brought a consulting OB doctor in with the midwife who informed me that the part of my blood result that was "bad" (the PAPP-A) can also cause low birth weight so they will be keeping a very close eye on the baby & he's got me taking blood tests once a week for the next few weeks to make sure no infection has crept in after my leaking incident. Lovely. So basically all is still good but people are keeping an eye on me - ugh.

It's a crappy rainy day here & I've had a throbbing headache all day. Ben has been down for a nap for ages & I've let him sleep way over when I usually wake him up because we have nothing to do when he wakes up. It's ANZAC Day so shops are only open a few hours & he has slept through those hours & the rain prevents any outdoor fun. Poor boy is going to be bored as poo when he wakes up, then we'll be up all night with him because he's slept too late this afternoon. I hate days when we watch too much TV but he's a bit too young for arts & crafts & let's face it, my brain probably can't handle it anyway.

I did some experimenting in the kitchen & absolutely butchered some homemade mozzarella cheesesticks with panko crumbs - they kind of exploded but were still fairly tasty. Luckily the chewy chocolate chip cookies I made were perfection so I survived.

Today is also Marcel day so he's had the whole day off with no me or Benny to bother him. He left late this morning & I haven't heard a peep from him all day. I was supposed to do the same yesterday but couldn't make it happen - I was tired & yuck so stayed home with them. I did get a decent nap so that's a high five. Maybe I'll leave the house tomorrow for a while by myself - pedicure? Meandering around Borders (before it closes)? Wild times, my friends. Crap, I'm watching Family Ties for some odd reason & I do believe a teenage Crispin Glover is a guest on it - he wasn't creepy yet back then.

Anyway, I hear Ben whining so I'm going to go rescue him from his little prison. Maybe we'll bust out the finger paints or the Play-Doh. Alls I know is there will be cookies involved.

The robe & the child.

So, I finally broke down & bought a robe yesterday. I have a little hanger-on that doesn't allow me privacy when I get ready in the morning so I thought I could afford a little modesty so he'd stop poking at my doughy thighs. Robe shopping is painful for me because I have something in my mind that I can't find - I do not want something terry-cloth or particularly puffy because they always end up damp & crap. I just spent a few minutes googling various combinations of Rachel Green/Friends/Robe, etc. because in one episode of Friends where all of the pals went to Vegas, leaving Rachel home roaming around in a robe ... until she dropped it off, inadvertently seducing poor Ross who was peaking from his apartment across the street. It was an awesome soft long robe that I have never been able to find under a gazillion dollars. Turns out that the budget for that show about young'uns hanging out in New York may not have been accurate to what real young'uns in New York can afford. The horror, the horror. And no pictures of it are to be found in my intense googling. Maybe my computer is just telling me that I google Jennifer Aniston too much - hint taken.

Anyway, this is turning into a painful tale just to say I bought what is most definitely an old man's robe because it was on sale for $15 at K-Mart. Don't judge me, I didn't go looking for it - it was just hanging there in my line of sight while I was trying to find supplies for Ben's Easter basket. I bought a large as I will be quadrupling in size over the next months so I think you can imagine how sexy I look in this thing. Like a walrus in a striped kimono. It may be the single least flattering piece of clothing I have ever owned. Stopped Marcel in his tracks - it's glorious.

For lack of a proper segue, let's chat about having another boy. Yes, a bit of me was hoping for a girl but I'm fine - especially after the bad test results then leaking fluid, I'll be happy with whatever healthy little creature makes his/her grand entrance (is it wrong to wish for a goat baby?). There are exactly two reasons why I have any disappointment whatsoever. Three if you count my Gilmore Girls fantasies about being best buddies with my teenage daughter but Marcel would refuse to be the diner dude in a hat all the time & there would surely have been more shrieking & slamming doors in my Lorelai/Rory relationship. Anyway, my biggest disappointment was with not being able to name a girl. I have a whole list of fruity, flowery, old lady names that I was constantly rearranging to see what worked best. Apparently Magnolia Mae was not be - neither was Memphis Rue or whatever I was teaming with Memphis at the time. And no, there shan't be a third so no girl for us.

I'm not a big fan of anything too over the top for boys in my world but that's probably because we're already working with the gorgeous & different last name of Eisele, which I LOVE. Also any son of ours is already bound to be quirky so let's just keep his name simple to save any added heartache. Luckily the world is a'changing so a lot more interesting names are considered non-goofy so we just have to keep bonking our heads on the table until the right one comes together. Ugh.

Reason #2 I wanted a girl was to decorate a girl's room. This would really only have counted for the early years because any daughter of mine would have been a stubborn, opinionated little turd who would ignore my dreams of "an overgrown garden in Paris in the autumn of 1930" or something painfully annoying & go with modern bright colors just to send me over the interior design edge. Instead I get boys who will probably have boring rooms but at least I'll get to be in charge of them. And I have already put my finger in Marcel's face to warn him that just because I'm outnumbered does not mean I'm not in charge of this house. I will decorate the rest of the home as I see fit & our master bedroom will be as feminine & lovely as I damn well want it to be since I'll need an oasis from the testosterone stink of this place. I am a little bit passionate about decorating, even though you can't really tell from our current bland lounge & dining rooms - I've got the itch to redo some things but it turns out you need money for such endeavours.

Okay, it's 8.00am & Ben is just now waking up after knocking out about 30 seconds after we laid him down last night. Maybe I should just keep up the no napping trend & enjoy the lovely nights! We shall see. Off to start the day with my wild boy.

Tuesday, Shmuesday

Howdy there. I keep disappearing but I promise all is well - every now & then I just don't feel like talking about all this pregnancy crap. Shocking, right? Lord knows I love to complain but it turns out when there is actually something serious to whine about I'd rather just live through it then let it go. But long story short, we are having another rotten little boy who is apparently quite healthy so that's all that's important.

After the amnio I did have some leaking amniotic fluid, which scared the bejeezus out of me. I won't go into all of it because the story involves too many uncomfortable words like fluid, gush, damp, trickle & speculum. Gack. Anyway, I am no longer leaking - huzzah - but I'm still trying to get over the paranoid feeling that it could start again any second.

So, it doesn't appear Ben will nap today. I am willing to accept his non-napping if he is willing to stay in his bed for an hour & 1/2 or so peacefully. Kick around, talk to himself, etc. is just fine - I consider that resting & I have no complaints whatsoever when the child actually goes to bed quickly at night. I love love LOVE when he's go to sleep right away so I can enjoy some time with my husband that doesn't involve us going back & forth saying "No Ben, lie down. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Goooo to Sleeeeep." Odd that it doesn't work like that.

Hey! Some jerks broke into my car last night. Well, let's be honest - there is a strong chance I forgot to lock my car because I had to bring Ben in & another load of bags or something. I am going to give these turds some credit that they never seem to break into any of the neighborhood cars that have locked doors & they don't do any damage. They rifle through everything but I had nothing worth stealing - they obviously didn't appreciate the awesome pair of Michael Kors shoes in the trunk. Marcel told me I was the only one who could love those things but whatever. The one shitheady thing they did was leave the door open a bit, which they also did to our neighbor (after stealing her perfume!) so I thought my battery was dead. The clicker thing wouldn't work & the light didn't come on but I realized after Marcel came all the way home to jump the car (too broke to pay someone & didn't want to harass a neighbor so the husband felt sorry for me) that of course the clicker doesn't work when the door is open & our car actually shuts off the battery function if the little light stays on too long to save itself. Brilliant car, stupid me. They also smoked in my car or just reeked of smoke themselves so now my car smells like smoke. Sadly, that might be an improvement from the random food smell that I can't get out of there! I shall be cleaning the car this weekend when I can take the car seat out & all that fun stuff.

So anyway, I guess we'll still consider ourselves as doing well since nothing was stolen or broken or whatever & our baby is healthy (I should lead with that, shouldn't I?). But now the baby's older brother is whining so I'm off to negotiate with myself on how long I should make him stay in there to consider him properly rested. I am going to have to break down & do a little sleep training again, I'm afraid - he is such a stubborn turd.

Have a beautiful day wherever you are!

Winner here, thank you very much.

Hey, guess what??? My luck is a'changing! I'm not going into the whole amnio thing until we have results & something to report but I have other HUGE news. Prepare yourself. I WON SOMETHING! Something good. Something I really wanted. There were two things I've been aiming for in all the babyology.com.au competitions - either a fancy diaper bag because it's just a luxury & I already have a fabulous one or a baby carrier because we had one before & we hated it so we gave it away. I think we were too rash & I've been wanting a nicer one with back support, etc.

I WON A FANCY BABY CARRIER! Check me out folks:
http://babyology.com.au/out-and-about/childsmart-prizeapalooza-winner-announced.html

I imagine this will be Marcel & me very soon (except in dove grey)(unless it's not available then I will happily take that lime):

I've been running my mouth off a lot recently about how crap 2011 has been - everything seems to be going wrong for everyone. Recently, I've seen luck turning around for some friends & now I'm hoping it's made its way to us. 

Thank you all again for all your prayers & well wishes. We love you guys madly & should have results before the weekend. 

xoxo