blah

It's been a while but I've had no inspiration to write anything. I've been blah. Not depressed, no post partum whatever, just down. Can't put my finger on a reason. I'm happy about the holidays, love my husband and my baby, have a lot to look forward to but I guess that's why they call it the blues (sorry, just turned into Elton John for a moment).

Ben is moments, minutes, days away from crawling. He's always up on his hands, knees & toes trying his best. He knows exactly what to do but can't get his legs and arms to cooperate at the same time. It's funny because every time he tries for a while, he starts this weird little nervous laughter like he doesn't want us to think he's trying to hard. Adorable. After several minutes of trying he starts getting fussy, then eventually that bottom lip comes out and he starts wailing. Poor thing wears himself out and just wants to get moving!

I think his first tooth/teeth are also just around the corner. He has two little tooth outlines on his bottom gum and he sobs a couple times a night - never actually wakes himself up. It breaks my heart but then I'm exhaaaaausted in the morning. I realise that a lot of moms have had babies waking them up for a long time so I shouldn't complain and the boy is precious as ever. It's just a weird feeling because I'm super sleepy then I think "Oh well, I'll just take a nap later." Oh wait, never mind, can't nap. I can't nap when he does because that's the only time I can accomplish anything and the few times I do nap at the same time I usually fall asleep right as he decides to wake up early and then I'm worse than when I started.

Anyhoo, there you go. Ben is just waking up from a nap as we speak and he's crying so I'm off to be super mom!