19 November 2012

The Weight of the World

Went back to Weight Watchers yesterday for my first weigh-in on America's fair shores. America has not been kind to me. Actually, maybe it's been too kind to me.

I've gained 10 pounds since I stopped my meetings in Australia, which was the end of July or beginning of August. Impressive, yes?

This is not good news BUT I will say that I knew I would gain weight, thanks to the stress of the move and the reintroduction to some favorite old haunts and discovering new treats. In fact, I always said that I'd be happy as long as I didn't gain more than 10 pounds & since I managed to be right on 10 pounds I'm kinda okay.

I am a little mad at myself for starting the weigh-in process the week of Thanksgiving - a bit of a clown situation, bro. Ah well, at least it might make me eat a bit less destructively on the big day. Only 2 slices of pie instead of 5 & not just curl up on the couch with the entire dish of stuffing as usual, right?

Hoo boy, I'm in trouble.

So at this point, I am 19 pounds away from my goal weight. I can do this! I quit the gym since there is no hope of me getting there between work & trying to be halfway involved with my homefront, so I've got to find a way to be active without feeling like I'm being active.

Can I hire a personal trainer to wave my arms & legs around for me while I watch HGTV? Can I hire a nutritionist to swat my hand away every time I reach for the tortillas that I planned on using to make a cheese quesadilla? Does anyone else have an addiction to plain old cheese quesadillas?

So while I'm a little disappointed that the extra heft in my gut & tightness in my clothes isn't from my body swelling up with pride at the being the first body to successfully turn quesadillas into muscle, it could be worse.

I'll be in Tennessee for Thanksgiving weekend so I can't go weigh in anyway (no, I will not go weigh in while in Tennessee - how dare you suggest it) so I'll technically have an extra week to undo the damage I do over the holiday.

How long would I have to strap myself to a treadmill to undo a weekend of pie & stuffing? I think my game plan is pretty obvious - only eat my absolute favorites (the aforementioned pie & stuffing) plus veggies & not waste any points on things I like but don't LURVE. Success is going to be delicious enough to make up for all the collateral damage.

Okay, I'm getting sick of talking about my chubby ass.

I just ordered a wreath online. A WREATH. I think my transformation into a true mom is officially complete. We are decorating our damn house for Christmas. We were wimps for Halloween, assuming the new people (us) shouldn't be the first ones to decorate but then NO ONE else on our street did so we were stuck. One house around the corner went all out & we admired them so much & they happened to be one of the very few that came around trick or treating. They were as shocked as we were that no one else decorated - we vowed to ourselves then & there to follow in that family's footsteps & not to worry what the grinches of the neighborhood did or didn't do. We shall decorate.

I have visions of Marcel on the roof Clark Griswold'ing it up while other moms drive their mini-vans from near & far to admire my wreath. It will be glorious, g-l-o-r-i-o-u-s.

Speaking of glorious, Marcel & I went & saw Skyfall yesterday afternoon - it was fantastic. Just getting out without our lovely young dudes was fantastic & enjoying a movie too? Fan-bloody-tastic! There was a lot of buildup about this movie, lots of hype about it being the best Bond ever? Not so much. I've only seen the Daniel Craig 007's & I preferred Casino Royale to be honest but this one was pretty great.

I'm so glad that the Bond movies have kept using opening titles - I didn't even realize I miss credits & fancy graphics at the beginning of movies. Remember them? Good time, good times.

I don't have the energy to give any full review of the movie. If you like other Bond movies, you'll like this one & yes, there are some nice little winks at past 007's & some lovely eye candy in the form of Daniel Craig & his usual gaggle of ladies. I have only two complaints & they are my usual petty rants so here we go:

Why won't anyone give Javier Bardem a nice hairstyle? Lord knows he's a handsome man but the mop on his head was so distracting to me. I know he's the villain, whatever. There have been plenty of good looking bad guys in the world. Why not him?

Secondly & far less importantly, there is some flashlight use that is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS, I tell you. You see this person in the distance & the flashlight beam is all over the place. I ceased to process any more of the plot at that point, not being able to concentrate on any thought beyond "Put that flashlight down. What on earth are you doing with the flashlight? Holy crap, my toddlers could be steadier with a flashlight! Pleeeease stop waving the flashlight!" I assume the filmmakers wanted to build tension because you know someone is bound to see the flashlight but holy guacamole, baboons are more controlled than that.

Okay, rant over. See the movie, you'll like it & if you don't like it, then you'll at least like staring at Daniel Craig or the pretty ladies. And if you don't like them, then you are a robot & I can't suggest any viewing materials for you because I don't know what robots like.

I think I can't eat Sour Patch Kids anymore. I got a bit giddy about going to a movie & brought some with me because there is nothing better than Sour Patch Kids & popcorn. But my teeth still hurt. The sugar pushed me over some edge, now cold & hot are hurting my front left tooth too. Why me, why now? It's just not fair.

Okay, I should go now before I get too hyped up about not being able to get hyped up on Sour Patch Kids & I start waving a flashlight around all willy nilly. That's not good for anybody.

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