shaking with anitici.......pation

My, how I've missed you guys. As rambling & nonsensical as this blog tends to be, the simple act of writing is so gratifying to me. My rants, raves & lame stabs at humor come from a surprisingly deep place & I swear that I physically feel better if I've spewed my little words. I'm pretty sure I store part of my mind in my fingers & once they've had their typing workout my little brain can relax a tiny bit.

How's that for obnoxious?!

Anyway, I either missed typing or I missed sharing every boring minute of my life with you so I'm back.

And none too soon, I tell you. So much to tell, so much to share, so much inspiration I need from you before I lay my head down on the floor & give up being useful.

For those of you who haven't heard the grand proclamations (seriously, if my mom owned a megaphone you would have literally heard the news straight from her)(by the way, never buy my mother a megaphone), we are moving back to America. That's right. Yes, it is true. Uh-huh, we'll be Yankee Doodle Dandies once again.

You have follow up questions? Of course you do. Unfortunately, I have no answers. No real idea of when, what we'll do, what jobs we'll have (the rumors that Marcel was offered a GC job are not true - he was on the list of possible candidates but it went to someone else in the end, which is absolutely 100% fine with Marcel), where we'll live, etc. are wiiiiide open.

Well, we're moving to DC unless any of you Tennesseans manage to corner Nicole Kidman & convince her to let me be her assistant. How perfect would that be?? Both Nashville/Australia gals with our handsome husbands - she has two lovely girls, I have two goofy boys. The natural partnership writes itself.

So yes, we'll be in DC. More job opportunities for us both there. Our house is on the market here (http://www.realestate.com.au/property-house-nsw-kariong-111102339 just in case you're looking for a wonderful little home on the Central Coast) & as soon as it sells, we'll be on our way. Oh yeah, we also have to get rid of absolutely everything we own too but hey, nothing hard about that. Nope, no drama.

But seriously folks, I'm not one to let a little stress get to me but the build up to this move is a bit much. I realize that moving from one side of the planet to another is hard & it's a gazillion times harder in the other direction once you've bought a house & belongings & suddenly you have two little hangers-on who depend on you for their every step in life. Therefore, when I wake up with a new zit, a cold sore or a visit from the IBS that I thought was loooong gone, I am not surprised. I am also blaming my current string of bad hair days on stress & will kick you in the shins if you try to convince me otherwise.

Anyway, that's my quick update. I'm watching Evan stir on the baby monitor - that's right, I still haven't gotten him into his own bed as I swore I was going to do. He's basically in his own crib for his nap now but I don't have the strength for the nights yet.

I will try to blog more regularly now that I have new things to report. In the meantime if you know of anyone looking for a motion graphics editor (Avid, FCP & all the necessary programs) or some sort of assistant/coordinator/girl Friday, let us know will ya?

And if you'd like to buy a house or furniture or a car or lots of baby clothes, etc. let us know & we'll cut you a deal (well, not on the house)(& not if you're in America because we're not shipping or bringing it over, sorry).

In the meantime, please pray that the cleaning fairy comes along to keep our house nice & tidy (yes, we've cleared out tons of knick knacks & clutter & we make sure all the kids stuff is either in their rooms or hidden away so we can appeal to everyone) for us. Also please pray that we don't lose our minds before this is all over. That is all. Amen.

Smashin' Fashion

I am not a fashionable person, I am aware of that. 

But it's not for lack of dreaming. 

I don't want to toot my own horn (much) but since I've been doing well with my Weight Watchers, my eye has been wandering towards some slightly more exciting clothes. 

Let's be honest, I'm not looking to break out of my jeans & t-shirt uniform too often but I could always broaden my horizons to a few more fun options.

Would be nice if my budget jumped on board too!

Anyhoo, a few celebrity looks have caught my fancy enough lately that I felt compelled to share with you. Don't ask me why because I don't have an answer for you - I'm just going through a phase.

I have only recently jumped on board the Jennifer Aniston train.

I never had anything actually against her & wasn't sporting a Team Jolie shirt or anything because that shit ain't my business.

I found her style more boring than classic.

Now that I have a few more years under my belt, I truly love that classic look.

I also love that she embraces the jeans & t-shirt uniform - I secretly pretend I look like her when I'm getting dressed. *sigh*

I am not so in love with those wedges with this outfit but I'm probably wrong about that. Also, I completely forgive any fashion sins committed while travelling. No one is at their best when involved with air travel, no matter how hard they try.

Oh yes, she also has inspired MAJOR blazer envy for me.

I see myself owning several new snazzy blazers as soon as I can afford to do so.

Elizabeth Banks is EVERYWHERE this year & I am a fan. 

I am also a fan of this crazy-ass dress.

Oddly, my first thought upon seeing it was "That looks like something I would wear." 

I'm sure something that exciting & colorful would look simply stunning on a stumpy gal like me. 

I have never been a fan of Blake Lively & I have no reason for this.

I have never seen Gossip Girl & I fell asleep during The Town before she came on.

That's not a judgment on The Town because it looked awesome & Marcel said she was good.

My point is ... I completely forgot. But yes, I wasn't a fan.

On the other hand, I am a HUGE fan of this dress. 

Like, this may be the greatest dress I have ever seen - it was everything I desire in a dream dress. 

I love it, I love it, I love it!!

I'm sure my terrible posture & rump would look a-mah-zing in this.

Until next time, may all your fashion choices be zingers.

**I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS! I JUST TYPED IT WITHOUT THINKING & THEN READ IT BACK, SHOCKED AT THE BIZARRENESS. ZINGERS? 

Shout Out West

Today I have a to-do list that's a mile long so it's natural that I would be inspired to come to my blog instead & just avoid any of that pesky work! Lucky you, right?

I'm having a bit of a blog meltdown these days. Life is a bit nutty & has left me at a loss for words - well, not a total loss but my words have been confused, negative or of the four-letter variety so my radio silence is a good thing, trust me. 

So, I'm trying to decide how to handle the blog from here on out. I realize this shouldn't be such an issue as it's just an electronic brain-fart & nothing more profound but I usually enjoy it. But now that Ben is getting older (3 is ridiculously old to me!), it feels a bit like I'm talking behind his back & that's not so nice. Also, I think you know I've had some struggles with his toddlerhood & I really did not like that every blog entry was complaining about someone who is literally one of the most exciting humans that I've ever had the joy to love! 

I thought maybe I'd focus on Evan until Ben settled down a bit & keep this as a more baby-centric blog for a while but I quickly realized that we've been there & done that. Do we really need another round of me wondering why my child refuses to nap & how the hell did he end up in our bed, drinking all night after he was sleeping through the night in his own space for a few months? 

(Sidenote: I actually honestly have no recollection of what brought him into our bed but there are dark days of sleep training ahead of us so I might blog those for my own sanity)

Anyway, so for now I'm keeping the blog to just special occasions or when the spirit moves me to share some stupidity or if my fingers need a good stretching round of typing. 

Which brings me to this entry. 

We went on a wonderful, amazing, out of this world vacation recently. Well, most of it was fantastic - part of it was awful & heartbreaking but such is life. I'll fill you in, don't you worry. 

Obviously I've been living inside my head a bit too much recently. Let's be honest, living inside your own head for ANY amount of time is dangerous to your health so I'm trying to focus outwards & be present in life but when it comes to this little blog of mine, I'm still taking up residence in ye olde cranium. Can't quite decide how to break down the trip to do it justice so I'm just starting to throw things out there for you - some of my favorite aspects of the trip, in NO PARTICULAR ORDER, usually just happens to be what order the pictures happened to fall.

Soooooo, wrapping up the most painful introduction of all time, I give you ....

Our Western Adventure

JOSHUA TREE

Joshua Tree is literally one of my favorite places on the planet, if not THE favorite - I'm usually one for clutter & hubbub (remind to use that phrase for a future album title) but the desert gets me every time. There is something in the air that makes me ridiculously happy - probably the total lack of humidity so my hair actually lies flight - & I feel totally at peace, as dorky as it sounds.

I don't think I ever told you that we were thisclose to naming Evan "Joshua" instead. Totally were but then I thought my cousin Josh might get a big head about it & that's the last thing the world needs so we went with Evan. Just kidding, I love my cousin Josh & would have been happy to have a son sharing his name but Evan won in the end anyway.

The very very very best part of visiting J. Tree with the family was Ben acquiring a new hobby - he stole one of Ilse's fancy shmancy cameras & decided he is now a photographer. It was awesome. He was awesome. I am currently creating a photo book of his pictures from that evening because some of them are amazing. Some are hilarious but none of them are boring. 

I'll never forget the little bit of time we spent there - it is a very special corner of the world!

DISNEYLAND

I know there are plenty of parents who are not fans of Disney & its influence on kids, plus the idea of a day in any theme park is hell on earth. We are not those kind of parents. For the record, we are also a-okay with those ugly clunky plastic toys that last forever & the kids love but look sloppy in your yard. We can still be friends, right?

Anyway, our day at Disney was perfect. PERFECT. I am terrified to ever go again for fear it won't live up to this trip. Ben was a grouch as the day started but after his first ride his smile got bigger & bigger & we had a blast. Lines weren't ridiculous for a weekend in June & I think we all almost got out of it what we wanted - mostly we were just there to watch the kids experience it, which helped.

Anyway, we watched the evening fireworks & just kept going, figuring we'd head out as soon as either boy started melting down but they never did so as the park closed at midnight we came around the corner & stumbled upon some special friends so I think this picture sums the day up quite perfectly:

I will post most Vegas pictures in a future entry because there aren't many. That was my family's leg of the journey & we are not ones to take pictures - not a big deal but not really helpful when I'm trying to blog about things we've done!

The first part of the Vegas portion was a blast! We had a huge condo in the Hilton building attached to Planet Hollywood & we shared it with my parents & brother, sister in law & their kids so we had the whole gang together. Amaaaaazing that we all managed to pull it off.

Unfortunately, the Vegas section of our travels was cut off as my parents had to rush back to Tennessee to be with my grandmother who fell ill the day after they left to come out to see us. She died the next day so I'm very very glad that they chose to go home to be with her but I missed them terribly & spent the next few days trying to ignore my terrible funk, grieving for my wonderful grandmother & feeling very guilty for dragging everyone out to see us & away from her while she was sick.

Luckily Vegas is a good place for distractions & we had fun dragging the boys all over the place to see the hotels & do some shopping & eating lots of yummy food.

I've been to Vegas several times & love that place, even as a gal who doesn't drink, doesn't care for the clubs, burns in the sun & can't afford to gamble much. It's just a carefree city, I guess. But this trip there was one surprise for me - a hotel I hadn't visited before ...

THE COSMOPOLITAN

We didn't stay at The Cosmopolitan (I'll do another blog later about the various places we called home) but we will absolutely try in the future. It is the coolest hotel/casino I have ever seen. I was seriously smitten.

First, they have a bar/lounge that takes up the entire center of the shopping/casino/whatevs area called The Chandelier. IT IS COMPLETELY ENCASED INSIDE A GAZILLION ROPES OF CRYSTALS SO IT LOOKS LIEK A GINORMOUS CHANDELIER!! I abused the Caps Locks so it's clear that I was shouting that at you. Normally I attempt to keep my cool in trendy places & not act like the total yokel that I am but I could not stop gawking at the 3-story chandelier that people were walking around in & hanging out on comfy couches. We tried to get pictures ourselves on the iPhone but it didn't capture it well enough (IT IS GORGEOUS!!). I kept wandering back over to the railing to look out over this place - is it possible to have a crush on a place? Cos I think I'm in love with The Cosmopolitan thanks to this sparkly piece of heaven.

If that weren't enough, while roaming around I spotted this machine:

I was a little surprised because I didn't think cigarette vending machines were still a thing, especially at such a trendy place. Then I spotted the name & looked closer. OH ... MY ... WORD! It was at this point that I physically grabbed Marcel & started shrieking at him in my way too excited voice "Oh my gosh, it's art, look at the tiny little pieces of art. Howmuchisit?Ohmygoodnessit'sonly5dollars.Iwantamillionofthem.Doyouhave5dollars????"

Thus began my obsession with Art-O-Mat.

This was our first acquisition, an adorable little oil painting of a bird! They all have to be the size of a cigarette carton so they fit in the machine & at $5 a pop you are a fool, A FOOL, to not snatch up some pieces for your own art wall. We went back to the two machines we found in the hotel a few times - two were kinda duds as one was earrings (my ears aren't pierced) & one was a friendship bracelet that looked like a demented scrunchie so my one piece of advice is to only choose ones that say oil painting (or whatever you want) not "random" or "surprise." 

During my last art shopping spree, which sounds much better than cheap vending machine emptying, an older dude who works for The Cosmopolitan came up & told us a bit of the history of Art-O-Mat &  how it's actually a really great way to start your art collection. I don't know who he was but I like to pretend that he's a wacky owner/manager eccentric gazillionaire & if I had found the right combination of words, he would have shown us the secret back areas of the hotel & let us borrow his private solid gold golf cart to tour the property. Alas, either I was wrong or "Oh my gosh, this machine is AWESOME!" wasn't the secret code he required.

Anyway, I wish you would visit the Art-O-Mat website & see where you can find one to visit yourself (Washingtonians, there is a Smithsonian location!). http://www.artomat.org/

Aside from the lounge dripping in crystals & the cheap art souvenirs, this place just had a good vibe. Apparently the restaurants are famous ones & the clubs are world-class, which is right up our alley ... not. On the top floor is a little game area with a pool table, big comfy designer looking chairs & no one scolded us for spinning Benny in them like they were made for commoners like us. If I could transport that little game area with their awesome chairs & funky tables made of giant vintage-looking dominoes I would totally take it. 

Kudos to you, The Cosmopolitan! I love you.

I will be back to blog more later, I promise you that but I make no guarantees of when. I think almost all of our trip photos are up on facebook anyway except the handful of wonderful photos that my mother in law took of everyone in Vegas (the Eisele part of the clan was only there for one day) so THANK YOU Debbie for taking so many pictures for those of us doofuses who don't.

bee bop a boo

Growing old is a pain in the ass. Don't get me wrong - most of the time I don't consider myself that old but I am definitely finding rust in the strangest of places.

Music is the worst for me. I remember how it used to drive me INSANE that my mom never got the words right to songs when she sang along with the radio so it kills me that I do the same thing now. I'm talking about songs I have known & sung along to forever.

And I am talking about even, gulp, U2 songs. I know, I know - all of you who have sat through one of my enlightening lectures about the meaning behind their lyrics (sample: "You see, U2 songs were predominantly a Christian band for the first two albums so you'll notice a lot of religious themes but even now, Bono sprinkles Biblical imagery throughout their songs ...") are probably very happy about this development but it breaks my heart.

The hatchet job of I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet in my car this morning was brutal. Wherever Carole King is in the world, she probably dropped what she was doing & felt a cold tremor down her spine as I butchered her classic. Lots of bee-bopping was involved, people.

But it's not just lyrics either. There is some hip hop song I heard yesterday (hey, bonus points for me not saying "hippity hop" like some honky grandma in a movie) actually name dropped Gershwin & some classic painters. Could I just enjoy the song or turn the station? Nope, had this mental conversation instead:

Kudos to this guy. Maybe it will make young people check out Gershwin.
I could go for some Gershwin right about now.
I wouldn't mind seeing a Michelangelo either.
I need to get to a museum.
(singing) I got rhythm ...


See, I'm old.

Teenage Ashley would kick me in the rump if she had witnessed me turning off Radiohead's latest song this morning (is it actually new or did I hear the announcer wrong?), deciding I'm over them. They sound the same as they did almost 20 years ago.

Of course Teenage Ashley would hire a future hitman to take me out if she witnessed the soft spot I have for the idiots in LMFAO so maybe we should just ignore her opinion. Maybe my parents are right that Teenage Ashley was a pain in the ass.

Going in my favor is the fact that I've finally warmed up to Triple J, the radio station here in Australia with the more independent, more local, more hipster-hugging music. I will never stop wanting to give most of the presenters some electro shock to cheer them the hell up but the music is okay by me.

Seriously, this morning the lady I was listening to literally said the phrase "We're so excited to have them coming to Australia next month" with the exact intonation & enthusiasm I would use to say "I'm so sorry your grandmother died of the black plague." Cheer up, cool kids!! I know I'm probably too perky by Australian standards but Lordy those Triple J folks are cool/bored to the max. TO. THE. MAX.

Anyway, that's that - nothing I can do but count down the years (months?) until I start driving my kids crazy with my warbling voice butchering their favorite songs. Until then, I'm going to enjoy watching Evan devour every piece of food that crosses his path. That has nothing to do with the rest of this blog, I'm just actually feeding him while I type this. And by feeding, I mean fighting with him over the spoon, giving up & letting him have it & leaving chunks of food on his highchair tray to eat in any manner he would like.

Evan - 1
Mama - 0

He eventually somehow ends up with food & snot smeared in his eyes, crying with a couple of spoons on the floor, very little mess on his bib but TONS of mess on himself underneath (it's magic). Ah well, time to jump back in to comfort him.

Evan - 1
Mama - 1

Three

Ben is three today.

He's a magical mix of independence, stubbornness & cheeky humor.

Sometimes sweet, often frustrating, always charming.

My little man is growing so fast I can't always keep up.

Maybe I'm the only one who remembers him from this point!

This is the first moment I met Benny.

I can't remember ever being happier in my entire life.

Until Evan, of course, but the first time is such a shock.

Everything about him enchanted me.

And exhausted me.

Some things never change!

We celebrated early in the morning.

We celebrated with presents & party hats.

We celebrated with a new playhouse!

Most importantly, later we celebrated with friends!!

Okay, we celebrated with friends & chocolate.

That's the best combination.

Even later, we celebrated with a little reflection.

Well, reflection plus candles on a bagel with cream cheese & Nutella!

We've had to practically scrape him off the ceiling tonight.

He will never go to sleep. Sugar overload.

Happy 3 years to the best little boy & big brother ever!

Friday ramblings

Warning that this entry will probably be very disjointed & a mess in general. Have lots of thoughts but probably not a lot of time until Ben comes storming in (he's currently watching Marcel mow the lawn) or Evan decides he's not enjoying his meal so much anymore.

Speaking of which, holy cow it is so much fun having a baby that loves food! I desperately don't want this to be a judgment against my older young'un because he's pretty awesome too but I'm having a blast trying little recipes of smooshy stuff for Evan. What's he eating today? Lentils with a splash of orange juice & a dash of cinnamon. He is gobbling it up like a crazy person, which is so exciting. He had eggy bread last night - French toast without the milk, vanilla or sugar basically. He LOVED that but choked on every other bite so we might take a break from the bread for another few weeks & try it again when his little system is more adjusted to heavier solids.

Overall, he is mad for pretty much anything we set before him - sweet potatoes, avocado & banana top the list but that's pretty much standard for everyone on earth isn't it? I've introduced a tiny bit of meat through packaged baby food (Rafferty's Garden or whatever it's called is wonderful & has nothing but the actual food in it, which is nice) but need to start pureeing some around here for him to try it normally.

Anyway, please don't be afraid that I'm going to turn this into a baby food recipe blog because I'm not. There are too many awesome ones out there & it probably doesn't count as creating a recipe when you're just tweaking ones you find from someone else.

I know the whole point of this blog is about parenting - the good, the bad & especially the desperate but I'm going to take a break from talking smack about Ben while he's going through this crazy 3 year old nonsense. It doesn't seem fair to air it out when I have no idea what I'm doing & most of it is probably brought on by my own exhaustion, anxiety & lack of patience.

Therefore, just know that I am still trudging along, trying whatever I can to practice positive parenting. Some days are better than others. Let's be honest, some days are whack as crack but that's motherhood. I've been in contact with the helpful folks at the Family Care Cottage & will be attending one of their toddler behavior seminars & talking to them about how to be a more positive disciplinarian, etc. so hopefully some relief is in the future.

Until then, let's chat about Ben's awesomeness:

1. He's kicking ass at toilet training at long last - he is all about going wee on the toilet but still not regularly. Again, much of this is probably me not remembering to harass him constantly about whether he needs to wee or not. Add that to my list of things to do better as a mother, right?! He's been shy about doing poos in the potty but alerts me immediately after doing them in his diaper & then wants to go to the toilet. Better late than never I guess. Daycare is also putting him on the toilet when they take the other kids & he's wearing pull-ups most of the time. He even went a few hours in undies last night without an accident. Woo-hoo!

*Sidenote: I absolutely respect those of you who do the full-on method of letting them wear undies & just shuttling to them to the toilet constantly throughout the day. You may be able to tell that I'm not in the most serene of headspaces at the moment so I think the high probability of accidents would cause me to flllllipppp out so I am staying with the slow, steady & somewhat saner way of doing things for now. For those with energy, I actually think the trial by fire works better or at least more quickly but you gotta do what's best for your situation.

2. He has turned into Independent Benny. I will save you my recitation of George Costanza's Independent George lecture from Seinfeld because it's not actually relevant but heaven knows anytime I hear the word "independent," someone somewhere is rolling their eyes at my terrible rendition of "... a George divided against itself cannot stand!"

So yes, Ben is all about "me do it." Marcel is trying to fix something outside with the drill & I can hear Ben saying "me hold it" & he absolutely will not let us help him in the bathroom - he has to drag the stool over, pull the pull-up down, wipe, flush, drag the stool to the sink, wash his hands, yank the towel over to dry his hands, the whole deal. If we try to save him a step we are greeted with the lovely & loud "ME DO IT!"

3. He's so darn stylish. He's started choosing clothes for himself & I have to say he's doing pretty well in that area. Today he is wearing blue corduroys & a red, blue & yellow checked button-up shirt. If we go somewhere, he is likely to grab one of his blue hats - either the checkered fedora or the blue floppy sunhat. He is fantastic.

------------

Well, Friday ramblings has turned into Monday musings - where does the weekend go? I hope all you rockin' mamas had a beautiful Mothers Day!! My gentlemen let me sleep in on my big day so I consider myself spoiled. Also got to catch up with some friends who live up North & we never get to see so that was a treat!

We had a massively wonderful & delicious Saturday as well but I'm going to do a separate post for that because it deserves one. We'll see when I get around to that post, mind you, but it is on my to-do list.

Also on my to-do list? Getting ourselves organized & packed for our vacation!! We leave in a couple of weeks & my book of to-do lists (no joke, I think I'm up to eight lists breaking down what we need to buy & what needs to be packed in each bag - carry-on & underneath, etc.) At least we're close enough that Marcel is starting to get in on the game with me & no longer rolling his eyes at my awesome organizing efforts.

I'm still betting against myself, knowing that I'm bound to leave something important behind!

Anyhoo, I've been feeding Evan for about an hour now because we've gotten interrupted about a thousand times by Master Benjamin but he's such a happy camper, gulping down avocado with multigrain baby cereal. He's also helping me clear my salad plate by chomping down some kidney beans & lentils. Heaven bless us when his teeth FINALLY show up one day, he'll be unstoppable!

I actually had something in mind to write but it's gone now - too tired to complain, too exhausted to go into details about anything & Ben is singing something completely unrecognizable at the top of his lungs in the backyard so I should go check him out.

Okay I'm off but you know what, before I go, I'll go ahead & share Independent George with you!

spew

I am tickled today. Do you ever have one of those days where you keep thinking of little things that make you laugh & then start giggling to yourself uncontrollably? That's probably my favorite thing ever. No, strike that, it's even better when it's with a good friend sharing the giggles but I'll settle for a lone gigglefest. I have many little thoughts that are dependable snicker-makers.

Evan & I were cruising along, listening to Bohemian Rhapsody in the car (what? I'm old & have become a radio curmudgeon). If you can hear that song without thinking about Wayne's World, then hats off to you & your sophisticated ass. I saw that piece of cinematic brilliance when I was in 6th grade & my poor father somehow got stuck taking me to see it. That theater was PACKED, kids my age snuck in & were filling up the aisles I tell you. I've never seen that happen before or since.

Anyway, for some odd reason my favorite part of that stupid movie is Garth's reaction to having the drunk dude ride with them. There is rarely a week that goes by that I don't tell someone (Marcel mostly but sometimes the kids) "If you're going to spew, spew into this" in my best Garth voice. Then I start tittering to myself like it's the wittiest line of all time. There are several scenes in that movie that are probably actually funnier but that's the one that sticks with me - if I'm sick I can generally count on my mom to give me those instructions as well, bless her.

So I was giggling in the car & trying to explain to Evan why it was so funny - his funny bone is mostly tickled by raspberry noises & Ben putting things on his head these days - so I had to look it up when I got home. I watched the clip on youtube & said to myself, "That's really not that funny," but then a tee-hee-hee burst out & off I went again, cackling like a loon.

Here, you can partake in my enjoyment (or roll your eyes at my immaturity) if you like:


Anyway, sorry I've been ducking out of my blogging duties recently. I've been a bit lost for words. Not just my brain melting but our house has been taken over by a demon. Yes, Ben has reached a new developmental milestone that has turned him into an ass-hat.

Sorry, I shouldn't call my toddler names but geez he's a jerk sometimes! Our discipline routine used to consist of us saying "No!" or "Stop that!" Lo & behold he would stop it. If things escalated beyond that, there was a timeout in his room while we all calmed down for like 2 minutes then all was good. Nowadays the situation is more like this:

Ash: Bennn, stop that please.
Ben: No! Nononononono, mama!! STOP IT MAMA! Move awaaaaaaay!
Ash: (to myself) <<what the hell is happening?>>
         (to Ben)  BEN! STOP!
Ben: NO!!! STOP STOP STOP STOP NO NO NONOOOOO!
Ash: <<I am losing this battle.>>
         That's it! You're going to your room!

Then he proceeds to tear his room apart & start sobbing & saying "I'm sad" in a way that breaks my heart every time even though I know he's up to no good & manipulating me.

So, now I'm making an appointment with our family care cottage place to discuss better discipline for our growing toddler. Oh joy. A few people suggested making sure he didn't have an ear infection or something since the personality change came in like a strong breeze one day just out of the blue. I secretly hoped it was something like that - I know it's bad to hope that your child is having physical pain that causes him to be turd but that stuff can be treated whereas a developmental change is a stink that can't be unstunk. The doctor gave him an all-clear on any infections or physical reasons for the crazies & the early childhood nurse said it's pretty typical of soon-to-be 3 year olds.

On the plus side, he has moved up at daycare! He used to be a Joey but now he's a Dolphin so we're very proud of him. His speech is definitely improving & he's eating a tiny bit better these days too. Also, the slowest toilet-training of all time is still plodding along - some days he nails it with lots of pee-pee'ing in the potty & he's not a fan of having poo in his diaper anymore so we keep explaining that he needs to ask for the toilet before, not after the pooping. We're getting there, people, we're getting there ... eventually.

And oddly, even with this moodswinging drama, he's still an awesome big brother! He absolutely adores Evan & loves making him laugh as much as possible - they crack me up together. There are many, many times where he gets a little carried away & almost crushes Evan so we have to supervise very closely but it's all out of love so it's hard to be mad about the trampling.

Evan is 7 months old now & is still pretty awesome. Rolls around the room like a crazy man & will hopefully be sitting up one of these days but I'm really hoping crawling is still in the distant future because that's a whole new set of headaches. A lovely elderly woman stopped me in Target this morning to compliment me on how cute he is - she actually laughed & said "You did very well with him, you should be proud." That delighted me because I was too lazy to take him out of his pj's this morning & half the time he's covered in rusk remnants or food that I forgot or missed.

He's still slaying it with the food by the way - smooshed up sweet potato for him last night, which he devoured. It's fun experimenting with a kid who enjoys food!

Anyhoo, the food lover is grouchy & on my lap, smacking the computer so I'm going to go before he loses my place again.