20 December 2010

Sleep training, night 1 begins

7.40pm - piercing screams as he realizes there's no rocking & no milkdy dilkdy tonight. Sticking his legs through the bars to kick me then kick the bars themselves.
Has a very big tight belly because we stuffed full. Full bellies are better for sleeping, right?? He just did a major fart & I fear he'll have to poo before this is all over. Then what?? Do I change him & start over or do I have to ignore that too?

Off to play some games because that's what a mother of the year would do - ignore her baby's cries & play We Doodle!

7.47pm - Laying down bit I fear it's a trap. He's probably just working up some energy then he'll spring up like a mountain lion & rocket out of here.
Yep, back up & looking down at the top of my head from his perch. Can't look up or it will be too engaging & he would use the opportunity to spit in my eye.

7.59pm - Okay I was playing Words with Friends not We Doodle but We Doodle sounds much funnier. Still screaming but I'm doing okay tuning it out, which probably means I'm a cold, terrible person. Ben is sniffly & snotty from the crying so that's no good but I can't really do anything.
Oh, have I even told you what I'm doing? We've gone with the Supernanny method so I'm sitting on the floor right by his crib while he hurls abuse at me from above. Every night we are to move a little further away until we are eventually sitting in Peppermint Park next door & can no longer hear his cries so all is well. No wait that's not right. Anyway, I hear neighborhood dogs barking - is Ben setting them off? He appears to be reading this over my shoulder! What if he's a baby genius? What if he can't sleep because he's too busy composing haiku in his busy little brain? What if he hates my blog?

8.14pm - So I don't find Ashley Greene attractive Yes I'm already stuck in to the gossip mobile websites & no I haven't seen any Twilight movies so maybe she's better in action. I find her very generic looking. That is all.

Ben is perched above me again. One minute he's quiet then the next he's howling like a demon. I feel terrible but we have got to get this sleep sorted.

8.28pm - Ben is now playing a game of stand up & drop back on his booty, which he probably has given a catchier name than that. Still taking breaks to whine, of course.

My tailbone is aching but I don't want to change positions. Not sure why. I'm supposed to be silent but I don't think it said anything about being motionless! I'm supposed to be a calming presence but I have doubts about my effectiveness on that front so am afraid any movements will just enrage him further. I wonder what Marcel is doing.

8.49pm - Uhhh, I think Ben is asleep. On his tummy, even breathing. Shall hold my position for a while to be safe as there is still the occasional twitching. I'm not holding my breath for an actual victory here but am praying for a miracle. What was the saying I picked up from the 90210 episode where Brenda finds a lump in her breast & has to have a biopsy? Ah yes, Brandon (always the philosopher of the gang) says "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst." My reply at the time would probably have been along the lines of "Shut up sideburns & put Dylan back on screen!"
Ben is now snoring so as soon as my bloody foot wakes up, I'm putting the blanket on him (he tends to throw it out of the bed in a rage) & sneaking out.

1 comment:

  1. Please note that I'm typing all of these sleep training blogs from my ipod touch with tiny little letters so lots of typos & lots of bizarre "corrections" from iphone. Brain not totally functioning either.