Complaint Box

Things are going quite slowly with my surgery recovery, which isn't thrilling my soul. I'll be bluntly honest - I am pretty darn depressed with the whole situation. I obviously knew that there would be a considerable recovery after a c-section & I knew I got very lucky with my breezy time last go 'round but nothing could really have prepared me for this gosh-awful terribleness. It's been over a month now & I am hobbling. Seriously people, I have an actual limp from the pain in my left hip area around where my incision is apparently very mad at me. Yes, I've been to the doctor & have been assured that all is well & that it's still technically early days so I still have some healing to do. I go back again week after next & things get any more painful I'll drag my carcass back before that & beg to be hit with a mallet or some other cartoon pain relief.

Apparently when they went in for this c-section, there was a decent amount of scar tissue from the first incision (sorry, this may be a less than pleasant discussion so I should warn you to move on if you're not interested in some gross details) so they did a second incision instead. I think I wrote about all of this before but I'll tell you more because I did some more research to back up what she told me & there is this thing called "adhesion" where yeah, my scar tissue causes organs & other innards to stick together & that's not a pleasant sensation. All of this causes pain, which causes me to keep taking my heavier painkillers (just Panadol with codeine plus Nurofen), which causes constipation, which causes straining, which causes much more distress in my already angry abdomen. So I'm grouchy, hobbled, plugged up, feeling like a terrible mother to poor Ben because I still can't lift him or get down & play with him, feeling useless because I desperately want to accomplish things that I just can't do (like shopping, cleaning, exercising) & am scarfing down pain medicine & Metamucil like they're going out of fashion. I'm also still swollen so look like I'm about 5 months pregnant, which is not what I hoped I'd look like at this point.

So I've gotten depressed, cried a lot today to the annoyance of my family. It's just so frustrating that I'm not getting better after this much time & the pain pills don't really help & two days of Metamucil hasn't done a darn thing so I fear I'll have to kick it up a notch soon. Anyway, I'm just getting worked up complaining about it so I'll stop but please send me your kind thoughts & prayers or whatever because I'd love to feel human sometime soon. Last time I remember sleeping on my side & breastfeeding Ben in that position while I was still in the hospital for those 3 nights after he was born but this time after a bloody month I still can't lay on my side because of the searing pain. Makes me feel like a fool sleeping on my tower of pillows.

Feeding is still going well - Evan has taken very well to nursing like Ben did & he's quite the champion of drinking. Also like Ben, he almost always falls asleep while drinking no matter what tricks I try so he doesn't do long feeds. It's nice except that most women talk about how their babies are either on 3 or 4 hour cycles whereas I'm stuck closer to 2 hours between feeds because my little piglet gorges then passes out. He's not consistent with his day sleeps yet - some days he sleeps nonstop & some days he catnaps here & there. Some days he refuses to sleep without milk & some blessed days I can just put him down when he's tired & he'll settle himself right to sleep. He's pretty good at night - up twice usually I think but can swing in either direction for no reason.

The boy can fart like a champion, let me tell you - gassy assy little man. Farts, burps, gurgles & regular spitting up of his milk actually. He's a mess & he still churns like a Wonka Factory candy making machine while he tries to clear his system. He's either getting quieter at night or we're getting better at sleeping through it.

Anyway, I'm going to force Marcel & my mom to watch Bridesmaids (Mom brought it from America) - that will cheer me up in a way nothing else can. Woo hoo!