help.

Okay, I really didn't want to go into it but I need your help. I've joined a gym & am getting quite serious about slimming myself back down to size. I'm not going to whine or wonder how I've managed to gain weight instead of losing it even with almost 15 months of breastfeeding! I know how it's happened - I've been my lazy self and have been improving my culinary skills. Bit me in the ass obviously.

So I'm gymming now & I quite love it - have an hour or so to myself about every other day at this point but I'm stepping it up & attempting 5 times a week. Currently doing cardio & weight machines & am actually pushing myself but don't really know what I'm doing. Will probably break down & do one of the gyms free personal training classes where they go through the machines with us dummies but I'm interested in what has worked for you! I'm doing lots of fast walking up hills on the treadmill & am attempting to start a bit of jogging, which is just sad. Have any of you started from nothing & managed to become runners? I am pathetic - give me a minute of it & I'm puffing but I guess that's how it goes. Also doing a circuit of weight machines that are leaving me nice & sore, which is a good thing. Should I be focusing on more weights & less cardio or the opposite or keep it kind of balanced? I'm just guessing as I go. It's been about 2 weeks & I am confused as to why I haven't dropped 3 dress sizes or anything. *sigh* Something tells me this is going to be a long, annoying process.

And yes, I'm accepting the fact that I will have to stop eating whatever I like whenever I like. THIS IS GOING TO KILL ME! Again, I want to know what has worked for you. I am going for longterm changes but I'll be honest, I want to know what will give me halfway quick results so I have incentive to keep going! Are carbs really the true evil or is it the cupcakes I made today?

Going to America in October - is it even possible to noticeably shape up by then or am I dreaming? And how on earth do I keep myself from gorging at all my favorite restaurants while I'm back there? And do I have to give up frozen Cokes? Can I cut back to one a week instead of two? I do drink lots of water already but even that could use a boost I suppose.

I do solemnly swear to not spend every blog post talking about the size of my caboose or how much I hate sit-ups (but seriously, I haaaate them) so don't worry. If I make any progress, I'll let you know or if I need to vent a bit I'll warn you first so you can skip it.

Anyway, back in the world of Benjamin Hewson, his sleeping has been a tiny bit better. And by better I mean it's back to what it was before the 6 weeks of molar hell. So he's waking up twice a night then either getting up around 5 or 6am or we drag him into bed with us for a few extra minutes of snoozing on the boob.

Last night, though, he decided to throw us for a loop. Crazy boy woke up about 10 minutes after we fell asleep then stayed awake but groggy for about 2 1/2 hours!!! I almost went crazy - every time I put him down, he'd scream. I let him cry some but no good, I fed him but no dice, rocked with him but nothing worked. If we're entering a new phase of teething or something, I will have to go into therapy I'm afraid. That last round where he was waking up 5, 6 or 7 times a night was too much for me. I got very depressed, lost all confidence and really wasn't sure how I was going to cope for much longer. Oh, this motherhood stuff is terribly cruel sometimes. I do love my boy and wouldn't never give up a moment of it but I never imagined we'd be approaching 15 months without me having a full night's sleep! The first several months when we co-slept but before he decided to permanently attach himself to breastfeed, he slept all night but, of course, I never did.

Anyhoo, I'm off to get my clothes in from The Lanai where they are drying. We had such a gorgeous sunny day today & spent lots of time in the backyard - reading to Ben, doing those blasted sit-ups, putting out the laundry, yelling "GET OUT OF THE FLOWERS!" & "PUT THE DIRT BACK IN THE GARDEN!" Ahhhh, life is good.