Gleeful confessions

I have a confession to make & it absolutely pains me to admit this. Seriously, as I'm typing this I'm regretting it & will have to debate whether or not to actually publish this post - I'm that embarrassed. But here we go. I watch Glee. I have no judgment for those of you who enjoy this show, to each his or her own & the good Lord knows I have watched enough trashy TV to disqualify me from judging others. The good Lord might actually remember that in college, my roommate & I (yes, let's drag Dana into this) had our TV set to turn itself on & set itself to the WB (or was it UPN?) so all we had to do was rush in from class & the glorious goodness of Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! was waiting for us. Good times, good times.

Anyway, back to Glee. I would not go so far as to say I'm a fan of this show. I would say that there is absolutely nothing else on at that time on my few measly channels so I've had no choice if I am in the mood for scripted TV. Let me tell you that my channel-switching finger gets twitchy every time they start singing because the combination of their little earnest faces and the horrendous over-usage of Autotune hits every nerve in my core. I used to want to be a singer. I took many voice classes. I will even admit I was quite good. I think my voice coaches probably want to kill the cast of Glee or the sound engineers who think they sound better when they turn the Autotune switch to 11. I imagine somewhere under that hot mess, those kids can actually sing & I bet they don't all sound exactly alike either like some adorably awkward cult.

But this post is not about the Autotuning or the fact that they can seem both so emotional & yet so utterly soulless at the same time. It is not about the fact that the Glee teacher is so not good looking & I don't understand why I'm the only one who thinks this. This post is not about how much I like Gwyneth Paltrow in her guest role on it & I'm convinced that this is closer to Gwyneth's true personality than the over-composed, macrobiotic, posh Londoner image that we get fed. This post is also not about the fact that during every single episode I have watched I have considered dying my hair red & vowed to dress better every time they show the guidance counselor. This post really should be about the fact that I have watched several episodes & yet still don't know most characters' names - I do remember Santana because who wouldn't remember a gorgeous slut named Santana? I have yet to get Quinn of Flynn (it's not Flynn is it? But it does rhyme with Quinn right?) correct - ones a boy & ones a girl & I don't really care for either of them so it doesn't bother me.

Let me get to the point of this post. I love how Glee shows relationships. I honestly could do without the main girl, the pretty blonde girl & the big doofy main dude who is apparently good looking but again, I don't see it. I eat up every moment with the mohawked guy & the fat girl that he's madly in love with, I want to reach out to my TV & smooch the good lookin' Warbler in his little adorable blazer when he tries to talk to Kurt (Yay - another name I remember!) about sex & life & being comfortable with who you are. Okay, I want to reach out & smooch the be-blazered Warbler for many reasons but that's the main one! And two gorgeous girls in relationships with dudes but messing around with each other & having the mixed up feelings to along with it is bold ... & real. Now really, was there a dry eye in the house when Kurt's dad sat down with him to discuss gay sex with him? There were plenty of dry eyes in our house because Marcel merely tolerates my Glee watching & Ben was in bed but I tell you I was crying. I was also taking mental notes that I have already forgotten, which is a shame because he said some truly beautiful things that any teenager, straight or gay, would be lucky to hear from his or her parents. When my children are old enough, I shall use my holographic computer/hoverboard to call up this episode of Glee & consider my work done. The fact that a hoverboard is the only futuristic thing I could come up with should tell you why I'm depending on the brains of TV writers to inform my children about life. I also may have originally typed hieroglyphic instead of holographic so I really don't have a strong grasp of the future at all.

Anyway, there you are. A hearty pat on the back to you Glee for bringing some really cool things to our screens. If you get that damn Autotune under control & dial back the schmaltzy emotions, I might not be tempted to turn the channel during every musical number. (I may also be tempted to look schmaltzy up before I use it because I'm not so sure it's the word I'm looking for.)(Oops, too late.) You had me with Landslide, I'll give you that - hats off to the ladies involved with that one (Santana was one of them & Gwyneth's character whose name I may not ever have heard & the kinda dumb blonde who I want to call Heather but that's probably not right).

And yeah, don't judge me.