19 March 2012

I wonder as I wander.

What a butthead of a day so far - my brain is way too lazy to go back & rehash it all so I'll offer generalizations instead. Nothing should surprise me, I've decided. After being a mother for almost 3 years I should be fully aware of certain facts about my family:

1. At best, I will get one nap out of my children per day. That's one nap total, not per child & it will most likely be a catnap. If two children are in the house, the nap will be ruined at least once by the other child.

2. Any child of mine will be a bit bonkers.

3. Any home of mine will never be fully clean. At best, I can expect one room to be clean at one point in time per day but never more and often less.

4. Any meal of mine will be accompanied by shrieks of an angry baby who wants to eat my food. He will wake up from solid sleep when he smells food cooking & I'm pretty sure he's psychically in tune with my hungry tummy. Once I choose to make peace with the fact that I will eat with said mealtime meltdown, the other child will come along & actually eat my food. 

5. Whenever I reach the bottom of the never-ending laundry basket, in that moment right before I raise my arms in joyful victory, my wonderful husband will totter into the house with an armful of random dirty things - clothes, towels, sheets (??) - that have hilaaaariously been in his car for weeks. We just laugh & laugh & laugh, then I give up.

Ah well, at least I have two little lovelies of loveliness to make me smile when I need it.
Benny, modelling his handmade peg & snake turban.

Evan, terrorizing nature.
Did I tell you guys that Ben & I both suffered the most horrendous gastro virus last week & over the weekend? It was AWFUL. As if emptying your system of all it has ever held isn't bad enough, then you spend an extra 36 hours of excruciating pain in every joint & muscle. It was not good but I'll spare you the details and just send you with the warmest wishes that this plague won't visit your home.

But anyway, there are many things making me smile today so let's focus on them for a while now. 

I learned on Facebook that the good folks at Shoney's are trying to add to the woo'ing of Peyton Manning to Tennessee by offering lifetime free pancakes. The discussion on this led to one of my favorite Facebook comments - a friend of my aunt's said "He isn't worth the money or the pancakes." This putdown is just fantastic! 

Now, I'm pretty sure free pancakes would probably work for me (not sure I've had them from Shoney's but my taste is fairly simple) & I was trying to decide what could definitely seal the deal for a loser like me. I'm pretty sure an offer of unlimited dumplin's (I think they're better without the chicken quite frankly) from Cracker Barrel would make me sign on any dotted line. Let me make it clear that as the world's worst athlete, I am most certainly not worth the money or the dumplin's but I'm still willing to be woo'ed.

I could also be swayed by unlimited sweet tea, eggplant parmesan, chocolate meringue pie, twice-baked potatoes or the promise of a new Michael Kors bag every few months. Not having a professional athlete's metabolism or workout habits, I should probably keep my fantasies towards the purses & keep concentrating on eating well.

Hey! I think I'm finally jumping on the Kate Middleton train! Am I too late? Is everyone else already over her? I'm not obsessed or anything but I'm kind of loving seeing her all over the place at the moment while her dear husband is away on duty.

Okay people, this is how one does St. Patricks Day. 
Holy crap, how classy.
Makes me regret that "Kiss my Shamrocks" t-shirt back in school. 
Sign me up for one of those Irish Wolfhounds too while we're at it. 

photo from gofugyourself.com
Such shiny hair - I wonder how us mere mortals can get our hands on her top secret princess hair products. 
What the heck is going on here, by the way, & how can I get in on it? 

photo from gofugyourself.com
Does she have killer quads or is this an odd picture? 
If so, you are killllling it Duchess of Cambridge! 
If you know me well, you know I have successfully avoided purchasing leggings & their evil partner in crime, jeggings. 
My first glimpse of this new colorful pants trend made me think they were the new leggings that I would be shunning in revulsion but they're growing on me, people. 
If I had Kate's legs I would own fancy pants in every color of the rainbow but those of us with chubbier gams have to watch how these trends play out before we jump in there throwing crazy colors on, unnecessarily highlighting our thighs.

Well, that's all that's in my brain today. Hope you've had a lovely few days without me. Hopefully I'll have something worth writing about one of these days!

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