tsunami a no no

We were on tsunami watch today after the devastating earthquake in Chile. Yikes. I'll cut to the happy ending & say that we had no tsunami. We really had absolutely nothing out of the ordinary in our waters, which is a good thing.

Oddly, tidal waves are one of my greatest fears on earth. You'd think a gal who grew up in landlocked Tennessee wouldn't have to worry about such things but for a good year or two I had a recurring nightmare about drowning in a tidal wave. We are talking about 2 or 3 times a week for that year or two - absolutely terrifying. It's not one of the more subtle recurring dreams to have, obviously I was a bit overwhelmed by life at the time but it still didn't make those dreams any more pleasant. It probably also explains why I am terrified of waves & avoid that beautiful beach just down the hill. I can't handle that whole getting knocked over by waves & it takes me a long time to get over it. Hence, no wave jumping for this lady.

Can anyone tell me why my profile thumbnail photo no longer shows up when I post a link to my blog in Facebook? It drives me nuts! If I post a picture within the blog, it lets me use one of those thumbnails but it used to use my main photo & that's what I want again. Grrrr ... I hate being untechnical.

All else is well in the world of us. Marcel's parents are here & Ben is loving his Oma & Opa. Silly boy can't take decent naps when we have company, goes to sleep & wakes up immediately so then ends up being grouchy or passing out in the car if we go anywhere. He is absolutely conked out at the moment, down for the night hopefully - he generally wakes up once after we put him down in his bed then it's usually time for us to go to sleep too so we just take him to our bed for sleepy time. Such a gorgeous little trooper who tolerates his parents' hippy ways.

I'm doing research on gyms tonight, I've got to break down & join one. Have to have one that has a nursery, obviously. I don't know why I didn't realize they charge extra for that - seems kinda obvious now. I know it's going to be hard leaving the boy with strangers & you can expect me to do many ultra-casual walkbys to make sure they're not neglecting him or he's not beating up other babies. I'm already having anxiety issues about leaving him with anyone - he's over 9 months old, I should be more comfortable with this concept. Anyway, the gyms piss me off a bit. One was advertising only a "gold coin to join" (Aus has $1 & $2 gold coins) but the tiny print underneath says that a $70 admin fee is necessary too. DON'T ADVERTISE GOLD COIN TO JOIN IF IT'S GOLD COIN PLUS $70 JACKASS - YOU JUST LOST ME. Unless the other gyms are shady, then I'll probably shell out the gold coin plus $70 but don't tell the jerks I said that.

Off like a prom dress ...

stuck on the couch, send help

I've spent the day with a pathetic baby in my lap. He woke up with a fever of 101, which Panadol brought down pretty quickly but when the boy is sick all he wants is to breastfeed. A-L-L D-A-Y I have accomplished nothing today but reading a crappy thriller book that is like 5% mystery, 5% smut (not expected at all) & 90% boring. His fever came back this afternoon so more Panadol but he's played and is happy once his temperature goes back down so nothing too urgent at least. We'll see if he develops any other symptoms - hopefully not my cold but I didn't have a fever anyway.

It would have been lovely to be able to get out of the sitting position today so I could put away the 10 loads of laundry sitting in our bedroom. Not exaggerating by the way, I have done literally 10 loads of laundry without bothering to put them away between having Ilse here (much more important) then being sick & now with him sick. Also need to put the clean sheets on our guest bed since Marcel's parents get here tomorrow morning! So happy to have them coming but I've got nothing ready. They won't mind but it drives me insane to be such a mess with guests. Marcel will have to be on Benny duty tonight while I clean like a madwoman.

Switching gears completely, I am loving this final season of Lost so much! I know lots of you don't agree but you are wrong - it's good & whatever they're leading to is going to be spectacular. The only problem I have with the new stuff is that the temple set looks exactly like the indoor exhibits at the local reptile park, which is not a compliment. I can't see the temple scenes without wondering how Sayid got dunked in that pool without being surrounded by baby alligators & hope they don't dawdle or they'll miss the Elvis the crocodile feeding. I bet Hurley & Miles would appreciate Elvis the crocodile.

Not much else to say really. Haven't even watched any Olympics today but I hear another Aussie lady won gold. I always find myself cheering on Australian sportswomen for some odd reason. Not replacing good old U-S-A U-S-A or anything, just spreading the love.

Okay I'm off to change a dirty diaper. I hope the Eiseles want cupcakes when they arrive tomorrow. I should have both of those thoughts in my head at one time, should I?

nothing new

It's almost 9.00am and my son is still asleep - I even managed to transfer him to his own crib without a stir. He did have a hard time going to sleep last night so I guess this is the up side to the late evening! I have no idea what to do with myself so I'm looking at recipes & making a quick shopping list for today. I feel much better, still sniffly snuffly & clearing my throat a lot but I can think straight & have my energy back.

What the what? Now I can hear Ben babbling to himself in bed? I just checked on him like half a second before I started typing this & now suddenly he's wide awake? Crazy child ...... okay, I'm back with a freshly diapered little guy still babbling away. If I had to choose, I think my favorite noises of his are when he's tired or lost in his own world & does a quiet, husky, whispery "pwah, pwah" noise over & over. I am also incredibly fond of his soft falsetto "Baba baba" that gets higher & higher as he goes. So gentle & so precious. He hasn't yet seemed to assign Marcel & me our names but I hope that comes soon. I have seen some patterns with him where there's a lot of "ah ya ya" when Marcel's around & he seemed to use "Ma ma ma ma" when Ilse was around but I haven't caught anything for myself yet - I'm probably just oblivious when I'm by myself with him.

Ben is also a dancer. It's true & it's beautiful - if there is music, he is laying down the boogie. The boogie mainly consists of swaying back & forth and some foot stomping but it's awesome & nothing in the world can make me happier than watching his enthusiasm for music and his burgeoning rhythm. Makes a mama proud.

On a completely unrelated note, we have a new shop in Terrigal! Why am I so excited? It's a CUPCAKE shop!! Okay, it's a sweet shop - cakes, chocolates & CUPCAKES!! We've been twice so far & it's heaven - it's called The Sweetest Things. Yeah, a cupcake shop with a name that close to a U2 song must have had me in mind. Marcel thinks I'm going to be a regular & I imagine I'll be like Norm from Cheers where when I swing open the door everyone (the one girl behind the counter & the one person in the way back working on wedding cakes) say "AAAAAASHLEY!" then we chit chat & I order my cupcake and become a permanent fixture at the bistro tables outside. Of course if I add the calories of becoming a regular at a cupcake store and follow the trendy blazer fashion & finally cut my hair off like I'm always threatening, I truly will look like Norm from Cheers. At least I now know where I can get a spiffy cake for Ben's 1st birthday!

Speaking of his 1st birthday, it's only 3 months away & I suddenly have it on my brain. My mom has started rumours that she may come over for it & I hope she does!! It will definitely be a small party since our little family are not the biggest social butterflies but it should be fun. What the hell do you actually do at a 1st birthday party? I can't imagine you can play games or anything. Maybe we'll have a dance party so Ben can show off his killer moves. And I hope the poor boy is a more eager eater by then or he'll be the first kid to not eat cake at his own party. He does enjoy smearing so I guess he can just make a mess of it and enjoy the fact that he won't overwhelm us with a sugar high.

Okay, I need to go actually be a mother to my son and get him away from all the blinkin' things he's trying to pull down/knock down/stick his finger in. Hope you have a super day!

bad day

8am & I can tell today is going to be a crap one. My cold is brutal and of course I can't take medicine thanks to breastfeeding (one of the few drawbacks). It's already hot outside so today is going to be a scorcher, which is going to make me cough my head off and the portable air conditioner will just piss me off. I keep hoping Ben will be nice & sleepy today but I'm guessing that ain't gonna happen so I'll be chasing him around. And we're almost out of toilet paper and lots of other stuff so I have no choice but to run errands and we have two flat tires on our pram that we haven't had a chance to fix. Today is going to suck.

On the plus side, we found Pampers at Bi-Lo supermarket over the weekend when we stopped there to pick some things up for friends. I squealed with delight and bought a giant box. Now we're doing research to see if anyone else in Australia is selling them but no luck so far so we'll have to make a journey to Bi-Lo regularly for those gorgeous Cruisers!

Ilse left yesterday and we miss her so much already. And not just because it would be great to have a babysitter on hand while I'm sick. She's just so much fun to have around and no trouble at all - can't beat guests like that! It does make us think twice about living waaaay over here.

Okay, Ben is whining so hopefully I can get him down for his morning nap soon. Need to try to feed him first, which is going to be aggravating for this hot & sick lady. Here we gooooo ...

sweet as

We got back from New Zealand yesterday & I am ready for a few days of comatose rest but that doesn't seem like a possibility with that whole child to raise business. He doesn't seem to share my need to recuperate for some odd reason but I suppose he didn't spend the whole trip trying to amuse a baby and he got many great naps in the rental car.

When Marcel & I first visited NZ a couple of years ago on our great campervan adventure, which I wholeheartedly suggest everyone on earth doing, we went to the world's most beautiful old stone church that had the most spectacular view on this planet. We vowed to drag Ilse to it one day so she could capture it properly as a professional photographer can do. So we dragged her there (like 4 times) and she done quite good! Next time we all visit will be for her wedding, which I'm currently planning. Do you know any decent single guys?

By day ...

By night ...

Ben was a super fabulous traveller again & only had one grouchy afternoon/evening. He even made some big strides in eating - crackers, cheese, whatever we were eating (very tiny amounts mind you) & earned himself the nickname Professor Plum. I'm currently trying to wash that damn plum out of his clothes.

We saw sights, gondola'ed, luged, fell in love with Queenstown again, stood crooked & oh so much more.

We were not killed by the psycho country farmer when we stopped on a side road so I could breastfeed the boy one night (long story based on a strong irrational fear I have). It was just an all-around fabulous trip & I still can't say enough wonderful things about New Zealand. I'm not going to even tell you the most heartbreaking news on earth that the old couple that owned & ran Deerpark Heights closed it because they were too old to run it. I'm not even going to tell you our plan of winning the lottery or doing a gazillion dollar bake sale so we can buy that mountain, get more miniature horses & resurrect the greatest tourist park on earth. Instead I will suggest you check out Ilse & my facebook pages for more pictures. Now off to attempt a nap with this kid:

100

This is my 100th blog post apparently. Celebrate with me you faithful reader(s)! Too bad it's not a happy one. Took Ben to the early childhood clinic this morning to deal with his eating issues. Turns out I'm a terrible, terrible mother who is letting my child down. She did not tell me this but I'm a mother so I can figure it out myself. Turns out my portly little fellow is UNDERWEIGHT! He's in the 90th percentile height wise but just under 75th for weight and that should be closer to the 90th as well. I have have have to get him on solids immediately and only breastfeed him 3 times a day (as in a 24 hour day) so he can get caught up. This is not going to be fun. I basically have to make him hungry enough to eat the foods he's avoided. I've been offering him pureed, mashed foods but apparently he should be eating everything we're eating at this point. She said if we eat spaghetti bolognese, he should eat it & if we have apricot chicken, he should have it too. I zoned out & made a mental note to get those recipes. What am I going to do??? I almost cried & am about to cry now, I feel terrible. I hate that I didn't get him on food when I should have and now I have to take a away the breastfeeding that we both love. I especially have to concentrate on iron rich foods so he should be having meat & veggies for dinner every night. Now I'm finally going to have to learn how to cook at least because the last steaks we made were not so good.

At least poor Ilse is here to help me get him on track - I would be a basket case by myself. He's napping as we speak but when he gets up he's supposed to have a sandwich & piece of fruit or a thing of yogurt. This is going to be a disaster. If any of you have tricks up your sleeve to make a baby eat, please let me know so I can skip the whole starve-him-to-make-him-eat routine. I know I'm being melodramatic but I really feel like shit. And I'm comforting myself with brownie rollout cookie dough that at the rate we're going will never become actual cookies.

We had a decent night last night but didn't get to watch the second hour of LOST because we hadn't found a trustworthy source to download it. We'll finish that up tonight but it's good to have those people back in our lives ... I think. It still makes my head hurt and I really have no idea what the hell is going on at anytime & if Sayid dies I will be on the next flight to Hawaii to give them a piece of my mind.

On the plus side of this food situation (hey lady, how about a segue?) she said that I must be exhausted since he'd be stealing all my nutrients from breastfeeding so much. I am tired so that should improve when he gets back in line with real food. Now just to be as vain as possible, does that mean I'm going to gain weight since he won't be sucking everything out of me? I can't have that - I'm at the end of my rope and am about to start that dreaded exercise concept again. I hate looking the way I do & feeling the way I do but I can't handle the blasted humidity to exercise outside. I'm going to have to get up early & go then but I don't want to wake Ben up because he usually sleeps nicely until 7am or so. I'll just have to give him his 2 weetbix with milk AND a piece of toast then go for a walk. Lord almighty, how is he ever going to eat that much?

Okay this pity parade is heading downhill quickly so I'm cutting myself off. Don't worry about me - I'll get over it soon & don't worry about Ben, we'll make him love food somehow. I have to not focus on my lack of mothering instinct & focus on the positive aspects of him getting healthy!

Just look at that handsome boy:

Soon he'll be eating everything as eagerly as that rusk he's chewing. Too bad he just spits the rusk pieces right back out. This is going to be tough. Curses, why does my font change everytime I add a blasted picture??? I'm trying to stop cursing like a sailor, which is going to be fun during these food battles but thankfully Spongebob gave me the lovely fill-in of just shouting "CURSES!" instead of whatever terrible terrible word I'd normally shout in frustration.


Okay, I'm going now. Have a happy day.

Confessions part I

*sigh* Okay, I have a bizarre confession. Don't get too excited, it's not juicy. It's just that I have a nemesis - an ARCH nemesis. She doesn't know it because she doesn't know I exist but I tell you if I ever bump into Gisele Bundchen she will get the brunt of my stink eye! It's a long ridiculous story but once many years ago I discovered that Gisele was younger than me & I thought that's not cool at all. That night I had a dream that I was standing in a long line and Gisele was at the front of the line and was holding us all up and people were complaining. I announced something along the lines, "And I don't like her because she's younger than me." And the imaginary dude standing in line behind me in this dream said in a snarky voice, "You're worried about her being younger than you? I think that's the least of your problems!" And every laughed at me. IN MY DREAM. I was dissed in the name of Gisele in my own dream. Not cool, Gisele. Nemesis was born.

Other things have happened over the years that rubbed me wrong. Now don't get me wrong - she seems lovely and friendly & lord knows her legs are longer than my full height but she crossed a major line recently. The lady had a baby with her superstar quarterback husband and couldn't come up with a name. Shyeah right, psycho, she was just sending her minions to find out what I named my own baby months earlier. After several days without a name, SHE NAMED HER SON BENJAMIN.

How. Dare. She.

I had managed to overcome this but now she's back out there yapping about her mothering awesomeness. Girl better watch her back because when she least expects it I'm gonna show up in Brazil & WHAM I'll be throwing down a mother-off. I can breastfeed the hell out of her no matter how big her brazilian bazongas are. And surely our Benjamin is going to be a gazillion times better looking than any combination of these two:

Oh curses, I am screwed.

Anyway, why doesn't People magazine want to interview me about my pregnancy diet of whatever the hell I felt like and how I don't have a nanny. Sure, I'm not doing high profile international modelling shoots yet but geez, give a girl some time.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20340878,00.html

So there it is. I harbour an irrational hatred of a supermodel because she's younger than me and some fake person in a dream made fun of me.

More importantly, Ilse is here! So exciting to have her around & makes me wish we were always closer to family (shut it, Mom)(sorry Mom, that was rude). I'm also seriously excited to have a second person to help me chase & wrangle Benny. I anticipate a nice long shower tomorrow morning because she'll be able to watch him - it's awwwwesommmmme!

Is everyone else out there psyched about LOST tomorrow?? I AM!! But now ALF is on so I've got to go. Why is ALF on?