30 August 2011


First of all, I would like to introduce you to my new hero:

I haven't actually read the accompanying article but the caption said something about the one dude stabbing people at a Notting Hill carnival & my hero there with the shopping bags attempted to trip him as he ran by. I love it - nothing overly dramatic, no need to drop your shopping, just resort to your school boy days & trip the bastard. Apparently it didn't work but I shall now be on the look out for any opportunity to trip criminals.

So yes, I have a new ambition in life. Also, I am now 35 weeks pregnant so I only have 4 weeks to go. Next Wednesday (1 week from tomorrow) I have an appointment with my OB doctor instead of the midwives & we'll schedule the actual birthdate so I'm very excited about that! It will be nice to have a day to look forward to finally.

I'm feeling okay at the moment. I had a very rough few days where the pregnancy felt like it had finally caught up with me - not just my bitchiness but actual exhaustion, aches, pains & that unholy heaviness from carrying an almost full-sized newborn around in your gut. But miraculously yesterday I was feeling better again & today was alright but nothing to write home about ... except that I'm writing about it now so figure that out. We hit playgroup this morning but left after the playground part so I wouldn't have to trail him around the classroom feeling sorry for myself because I have the only non-well-behaved child there.

My goal for this week is to go to bed early. As tired as I've been, I find it impossible to get to bed before 11pm - sometimes I fall asleep on the couch at a decent hour but then I have to get up a couple of hours later when Marcel goes to bed, then my 75 step process to getting ready for bed wakes me up so much that I can't get to sleep before midnight or so. Fascinating story, isn't it? But last night we were in bed & ready for snoozing at 10.30, which was awesome. Ben settled into his new room without a hitch, thankfully, so he's sleeping well. Okay, he bounces & yells & plays for a little while first but then he passes out so all's well that ends well.

I'm feeling like a bit of a failure at being a mother these days. I'm trying to control my bad moods for Ben's sake but there are still many four-letter words being thrown about - maybe I'm lucky that Ben isn't talking so much so he can't copy my lovely language! On top of that, I just don't have the energy to run with him much so when we're outside it's basically only in our own backyard so I can sit back & just watch him play. Not so exciting for him so then we end up back inside with me either doing piddly chores around the place with him underfoot or watching kids shows on ABC2.

There are very few shows that I like, by the way. I have to give credit to Peppa Pig for making me laugh hysterically in almost every episode while also entertaining the boy. I would like to personally smack every Wiggle when we happen to catch their show. I am fine with them being who they are & realize they're dorky songs & stuff appeal to kids. The problem I have with them is the fact that despite everyone knowing that they are gazillionaires from their shows, they obviously do not invest a single dollar of that fortune back into the show!! Seriously, it looks like it's produced by amateurs in a high school studio somewhere. I understand the appeal of keeping things simple for kids entertainment but no, I'm not letting these jokers off the hook with their half-assed efforts. And do not get me started on their spin-off shows like Baby Antonio's Circus & the annoying one in some royal kingdom with shrieky singing & sometimes the characters from these shows crossover, which makes sense once you watch the credits & realize half of them have the same last names as various Wiggles so they're obviously vanity projects for family & friends where they (again) throw some crap together & call it a show. I tend to turn them off the second they come on out of sheer principle. I have very few high horses to look down from but I take lazy TV production very personally.

Whooo, now that I'm done with that rant I'll move on to another. Do you want to know one of the things I hate most about being a parent? Never being able to go to the bathroom in private. I always close the door & keep my fingers crossed that Ben will be distracted enough with his total destruction of the house that he won't notice I've disappeared but that door creaks open every time! And we're not just talking #2's so he must have a really keen ear out for that bathroom door closing. Marcel & I have been together over 11 years & he has never seen me on the toilet in any manner & that's included being in homes like this one with only one bathroom but that's one of the two rules we have in this relationship - no pooping or peeing in sight of each other. But Ben has not missed a thing & finds new & exciting ways to harass me all the time. Yes, I could lock him out but I'm also not a big fan of listening to him yell at me & bang the door so it's lose-lose.

If you're wondering what the second rule in Marcel & my happy marriage is, hold your horses because it is out of left field. We are not allowed to name any child any name that a pet has had in either of our families. That's it - no peeps or poops & no animal names for our children. I think you get the gist of our happy home from that insight.

Well, I've run out of relationship guidance for you & have already ranted, raved & resorted to talking about bathroom behavior so it's probably time for me to put a stop to this madness. Have a wonderful whatever it is where you are!


  1. Good Lord, you have CLASSROOM time at your playgroup? Do you mean, like, craft? I guess we have that be we have it outside... PLAYgroup is for PLAYtime... (Julie here, by the way...)

  2. "be we" should be "but we" !!

  3. Oh yeah, they sit on a rug for stories & a song, then sit & have fruit for a snack at tables then a craft then indoor free play with blocks, etc. Ben considers it all free play while almost every other child sits like perfect angels. Ugh.

  4. All good advice and of course I am laughing throughout at your very special way of putting everything :) See you on Saturday! Nicx