a most excellent adventure

I do love that my profile picture is cut off so you can only see part of my face. Oops. I should probably fix that but it's not a one-step process so screw it. I'll just pretend I'm being anonymous.

It's a mango this week. I'm not so crazy about mangoes because they make my lips itchy & swollen & they're pretty darn sweet but Marcel loves them so that's okay. And of course it reminds me of the lovely Mango character from SNL. Maybe I should steer this child away from show business ...

Week 19: Mango
You're halfway there! The top of your uterus now reaches your belly button and will grow about a centimetre per week. The fetus measures around 15 centimetres long from crown to rump and weighs about 240 grams. She has started to swallow amniotic fluid, and her kidneys continue to make urine. Hair on the scalp is sprouting.

Sensory development reaches its peak this week. The nerve cells serving each of the senses -- taste, smell, hearing, seeing, and touch -- are now developing in their specialised areas of the brain. Nerve cell production slows down as existing nerve cells grow larger and make more complex connections. If you're carrying a baby girl, she already has roughly six million eggs in her ovaries. By the time she's born, she'll have about one million.
You no doubt feel the kicking and somersaulting of your growing baby. At times, she may be so mobile that you can't sleep. The next ten weeks or so will be your baby's busiest and most active time, until the womb gets too crowded.

I went back to my doctor this week & all is good. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat, which is strong & chug-a-lugging along. I'm a little bit smaller than average for being 19 weeks but that's no big deal because my uterus is where it's supposed to be (as opposed to where?). And the ultrasound place called me because they have to move my appointment - I managed to get it two days earlier! So now I will know on Saturday, 10th January whether it's a boy or girl. That way I'll have the weekend to go crazy shopping!! Place your bets soon ...

Have apparently entered the indigestion point of the pregnancy as well so my night time snack is a couple of Tums to help me get to sleep. I'm a little worried now that Beyonce will be sashaying around in my belly more noticably soon (you do realise I would name a little girl Beyonce if Marcel would let me) - will I ever sleep peacefully again? If I don't get sleep, I turn into a dazed out psycho. It's not pretty.

foto de paunch

Finally a picture of my growing gut. I advise you to ignore that seam at the top of my stomach that clearly shows you where my fat roll bends. I wonder what's in there - a boy, a girl or a litter of kittens? Still two more weeks until my next scan to find out what it is. I called a few places today to see if I could get an earlier appointment while I'm off work this week but no luck, unfortunately. Turds don't know that I have names to choose and nursery decorations to decide on - two more weeks of not knowing whether to lean pink or blue might just push my baby brain over the edge. Oh well.

I'm betting it's a boy. Everyone else seems to be having girls and you know that we have to be different. I also had a dream last night that I bumped into U2 (yes, all of them) and I was very proud of my unborn child being able to be in their presence as they walked by us (even in my dreams I'm too shy to interrupt them) so that probably means it's a boy and I'm supposed to name it after one of them. Hewson, Evan, Clayton or Mullen? Hmmmm ...

Excellent

In major gigantor baby news, we found out something interesting about our little one yesterday. No, we still don't know sex but we do know that little Miss or Mr Eisele is a very big Keanu Reeves fan! Yes, I know, it's very exciting. That Benjamin Button movie wasn't starting when we wanted to see a movie so we saw The Day the Earth Stood Still (I enjoyed it except for the beating us over the head with the environmental message but Marcel wasn't impressed). A little into the movie during one of Keanu's big scenes, the baby went NUTS in me - must have been absolutely flipping out in there. It was fantastic. All I can take from this is that if it's a girl, she has very good taste in handsome men who refuse to age and if it's a boy it will be a sci fi geek ... and we'll have to name him Ted Theodore Logan after Keanu's greatest role ever. Side note: in this movie Keanu plays an alien so it suits his wooden acting skills.

That's it. Hope you had a fabulous Christmas.

... with a face like a par-boiled yam

Our baby is a sweet potato this week, which just forces a song from the movie A Mighty Wind into my head. It's about a sweet potato baby but has a line about it having a face like a par-boiled yam and now that's what I'm afraid my baby has. Also, sweet potatos come in about a gazillion sizes so I think it's an unfair vegetable to use.

Week 18: Sweet Potato
This week, you officially begin your fifth month of pregnancy. Your baby may have reached 15 cm from crown to rump by now, and he can both feel and hear. Admittedly at the moment, all he can hear is your heartbeat and the flow of your digestive system but soon he'll be able to detect noise outside the womb and identify your voice. You're just a week away from the half-way mark. Pregnancy care is much more relaxed than it used to be, so you're unlikely to see your midwife or doctor often unless you need extra attention. But don't chew over things alone if you're feeling anxious.Your baby is approximately 14.2 centimetres long from crown to rump and she weighs about 190 grams. Her chest moves up and down to mimic breathing but she's not taking in air, only amniotic fluid.

Your fetus has become amazingly mobile (at least compared to you), passing the hours yawning, hiccuping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking and swallowing. And, baby's finally big enough that you'll be able to feel those movements soon.

Dude, can you believe we're almost halfway? Totally bizarro. And that poor child is just in there listening to my heart and digestive noises. BORING. Oh well, its problem, not mine.

So we found out last night that a great friend of ours is pregnant too and is due exactly one week after me!! I haven't called to harass her yet today but I am going to give her a major thunder-stealing lecture I do believe but I'm actually incredibly happy! She is one of Marcel's best friends from the New Guinea days (Eisele's if you're reading this, I hope I'm not ruining a surprise) so I'm hoping she'll be a good ally in helping to convince Marcel to look at furniture & supplies soon. I was just thinking of her 2 days ago because the name Willis came to my mind (please hold your "Whachoo talkin' 'bout" jokes) & I decided I liked it but then remembered that this friend has a dog named Willis so that won't work. I'm not trying to be shady by not naming her by the way but I realise not everyone may want their pregnancy trotted across a blog. I have no shame myself.

We're escaping to our hotel tonight because it's Christmas Eve! The holidays are officially upon us. My only plan is to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation on TV on Christmas night and we're going to our favourite Sydney restaurant Pancakes on the Rocks (it's a glorified Shoney's basically but those kind of restaurants don't exist here so it's become very cool & trendy & is open 24 hours a day & serves alcohol) to pig out. I may watch a couple episodes of True Blood, the vampire show from HBO that just happens to star one of our actors - he's the blond one with the abs that has all the sex (yes, he's Australia but I applaud his southern acting). Very good show from the one episode I've seen.

Okay, I'm rambling & that's my sign that it's time to go. When you eat your holiday sweet potatoes, think of my unborn child. Ugh, no don't.

Monday pre-Christmas

I am so sleepy. I slept all the way to work on the train and if I made the mistake of closing my eyes right now at my desk, I would be asleep in 30 seconds making those annoying lip noises I make when I'm falling asleep in an unnatural position (trains, planes, in the middle of working at my desk, etc). We had our office Christmas party Friday night so I got home around midnight and we had friends over for the weekend so I was very happy & had fun but apparently the baby does not care for my social life because I am suffering today. And we went on the boat yesterday for a couple of hours, which was lovely & wonderful, but my head still feels like it's on the boat! It's a flashback to that fateful week when I had vertigo a couple of years ago - it's taking my brain a few seconds to slosh around and catch up with the physical position of my head.

We looked at strollers - sorry, PRAMS as they're called here -over the weekend. I was fairly sure Marcel's head would have exploded but he survived. We are no closer to making any decisions on any baby purchases - there are too many options. Most are too precious for me to stomach, which I think is why we're focusing on a stroller first because they're a bit awesome and not pink or blue.

Stomach is developing nicely - getting round & solid. I do wish that the weight that is adding to my backside would be a little more solid and less like pudding. I have started adding more walking to my day so hopefully will keep that mess under control. Also bought some pants extenders because that day is very near, I can feel it in my waters. Now if the waters would leave my brain I would be happy.

Marcel & I are spending two blissful nights in a nice hotel in Sydney for Christmas so we can rest, recuperate and revive without looking around our apartment and thinking of all the things we need to do. I will still update you on Wednesday morning for my weekly baby progress report. I know you'll be on the edge of your seat ...

The Onion

Made it to week 17. Have had a few weepy moments that normally wouldn't make me weepy so it seems about right that my child is currently an onion. At least it doesn't have wonky eyes anymore ...

Week 17: Onion Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. The umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes are now topped by one-of-a-kind prints.

Things are really moving now. This week, your baby's eyes look forward instead of to the sides, her ears are almost in their final place, and the rubbery cartilage that will become her skeleton is about to start hardening into bone. Your baby is now 13 centimetres long from crown to rump and weighs approximately 140 grams. Her skeleton is mostly rubbery cartilage, which will harden later. A protective substance called myelin slowly begins to wrap around the spinal cord. Your growing uterus has shifted your centre of gravity and you've probably been feeling a bit off-kilter. Be careful and wear low-heeled shoes.

Finally at least I have an excuse to always wear flats besides the fact that I'm too un-classy and un-stylish to handle heels. I have been a bit light-headed and I have about a thousand mysterious little bruises on my legs so maybe I'm clumsier than I realize. And that pain in my hip is still coming & going & pissing me off. They tell me ("they" being the internet, of course) that it's sciatic nerve pain and I know that's more likely than the image in my head my smarmy baby leaning in the womb with its pointy devil elbow digging into my hip. I am going to get even with this little stinker one day, you mark my words.

I bought a couple of dresses last night to accommodate my growing tummy, which I will take a picture of one of these days. I think I'm getting a little more feminine with this whole pregnancy. I want to wear dresses and I suddenly have the urge to buy expensive nice makeup where I've always been fine with the usual crap up until now. I wonder if I could possibly be incubating a little socialite in my womb that's influencing my spending habits. Now I'm scared.

Otherwise, all is good. I'm actually very excited about pregnancy and the thought of all the accessories and furniture I have to buy. Oh and the thought of having an actual baby isn't so bad either, I suppose.

quick notes

Oh my word, weirdest terrible pain yet. Right around my left hip bone it feels like someone is digging in to a nerve or something with their elbow. If you have a sibling, you know the pain of the evil elbow dig and that's just what I'm feeling all afternoon today. WHAT IS THAT??

I have made the big appointment, people. On January 12th I will find out whether this creature is a he-devil or she-devil. Also meeting with the midwives so it will be a baby appointment day all around. Place your bets now on what we'll be having and whether Marcel will leave my ass alone at the hospital when I start questioning the midwives on the possibility of a water birth (I love a good bath - nothing makes me feel better so my logic is starting to wander in that direction), which is totally an option at the hospital here.

Also booking my parents tickets to come over in May for the grand arrival!! I am most excited about this because I miss them so much and have my doubts that Marcel & I can make it through the pre & post birth without lots of panicking. Now if I can just convince the Eisele clan to cram into our little apartment to act as referees when my mom & I start screaming at each other. They may have the right plan of waiting a little while ...

sweet 16

I hit 16 weeks this week and am getting mixed messages - is my baby a pear like its mama or an avocado like one of its mother's favourite foods. Hmmm ...

Your baby is about the size of a pear this week. Some of the more advanced body systems are working now, including his circulation and urinary tract. Your baby may be playing with the umbilical cord -- grabbing it and letting it go again. You've probably gained at least 2.2kg by now, maybe as much as 4.5 kg. Your uterus is growing and you might feel pangs caused by the ligaments stretching in your abdomen. These pains are usually temporary but your growing uterus will put extra strain on your back.

Fetal development - 16 weeks pregnant. Your baby is now about the size of an avocado (11.6 centimetres long from crown to rump and weighing 100 grams). In the next three weeks he'll go through a tremendous growth spurt, doubling his weight and adding centimetres to his length. In or out of the womb, babies are playful creatures. Yours may already have discovered his first toy -- the umbilical cord -- which he'll enjoy pulling and grabbing. Sometimes he may even clutch it so tight that less oxygen gets through, but don't worry -- he doesn't hold onto it long enough to harm himself. The circulatory system and urinary tract are in full working order, and he's inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid through his lungs. Sometimes, when you move suddenly, you may a feel a slight pain in your sides. Ligaments on each side of your uterus and pelvic walls are stretching as your baby grows. It's normal to feel some pain, but if it continues for a few days or escalates, talk to your midwife.

They are right about the back/stomach pain. I can no longer sleep on my back or I wake up in agony, which is odd because I've only put on 2 kg but apparently it's all weighing right down on my wimpy softening ligaments. I have to sleep on my side (the left is best) with a PILLOW BETWEEN MY LEGS to be comfortable. I feel like a jackass but it's absolutely necessary.

I'm not sure how I feel about the little bugger playing with its umbilical cord - I'm having flashes of my father who did not appreciate me playing with anything in our cars like window controls, locks, opening/closing compartments. I slap Marcel's hand and give him the stern "UH-UH" when starts clicking things annoyingly or playing around in the car (thank you, Dad) and I'm already nervous that my child is acting like a bozo in my womb and is going to mess something up in there. Luckily, I don't have to stress about my womb's resale value like the cars. *Note to self: Call Dad to tell him that our petrol prices have dropped below a dollar/litre. He'll appreciate that.

Nothing else new or excitig to report, I don't think. Still not enough belly to get a picture for you but I'm okay with that because I know it's going to catch up to me in a verrrry big way and I'm going to remember these months fondly even though everyone else frowns at my boring belly.

Still no baby names that we can agree on to save our lives. I am paying very close attention to everyone's names that I come into contact with - unfortunately my client list at work has knocked a lot of names out of the running for me. Not that they're bad people - I honestly have slim to no problems with our clients - just don't want to think of work every time I say my baby's name. I fell desperately in love with the name Hugo yesterday because a client was recording something with Hugo Weaving and I realised that I love Hugo Weaving, Victor Hugo (who wrote Les Miserables) and Hugo/Hurley from LOST. Marcel put the big red stamp of VETO on my Hugo dream, though, so no go on that one. I can't wait until he comes up with a weird little name that he loves so I can stomp all over his dreams too.

the soft cheese sitcheeation

One of the terrors I learned only after becoming pregnant was this hokum about not being able to eat soft cheeses. I don't think I'd really heard the phrase "soft cheeses" outside of pregnancy babble. I was crushed to discover that my some of my diet staples were no longer available to me - feta, haloumi, bocconcini, bye bye. Today I decided that it can't be possible so I did what I do when I get mad, I research. Turns out all you lying sacks of crap pregnant women who told me that I can't have soft cheese were WRONG. As long as it's not imported and made with pasteurized milk, I can eat all the soft cheese I want. The American Pregnancy Association told me so, which gives me yet another reason not to listen to the crazy pregnant ladies on the internet forums with their "You can't die your hair" & "Don't strain on the toilet or you'll get hemarrhoids AND varicose veins." I hate you women, you are evil. I celebrated by eating almost an entire little container of bocconcini (basically little mozzarella balls in their own water/brine) and now it's safe to say I never want to eat soft cheese again anyway but I still feel I have won a major victory in the war on whoever is making pregnancy such a pain in my ass.

the prodigal penguin returns

Sorry for disappearing but I'm so sleepy I can't function. Pregnancy is weird and about 50% of the time I think it's the most terrible thing on earth. Now that the nausea has passed (famous last words), I am enjoying aspects of it. I'm still not a big eater most of the time and that is making me a bit sad. Okay, more than a bit sad. Marcel and I went walking around to some gorgeous little restaurants and delis near where he works and we were looking at foods that would normally make me giddy with delight but I felt nothing. I just stared at the food thinking "I know that would be so delicious ... but I just don't want to eat it." I was actually honestly teary-eyed when I got back into the car with an empty stomach. Of course, I've probably more than made up for that today because I've even nonstop and not one bit of it has been healthy. Poptarts, pop corn, popsicle (things that pop is one of my favourite food groups), french fries ... I'm going to the grocery store tomorrow to get healthy food.

So the fact that I have no love for food has depressed me beyond belief because I had hopes of eating everything in sight with no guilt because I'M PREGNANT. The other aggravation is my blasted baby brain. If the food thing makes me cry, the lack of brainpower makes me curse. I have to keep extensive lists at work or I'll forget what the hell I'm doing halfway through or I'll go upstairs to get two items and come back with only one. And I'll ask coworkers about something and they come back with a super obvious answer, I give them an embarassed look and they start laughing and say "It's just baby brain." Then I walk away cursing like a sailor. And angry, angry, pregnant sailor.

La bambina or bambino (if there's a masculine version of the word?) is now the size of a navel orange and is apparently quite the acrobat at the moment. It flips, it spins, it doesn't allow me to sleep in anymore. I still don't have much of a belly but I'm appreciating that at the moment because I know it's going to show up one day and it's going to terrify me. It's enough for Marcel & me to laugh at and to justify me buying one of those nice maxi dresses that Angelina Jolie wore throughout her pregnancies. I may not look pregnant outside of the dress but with that sucker on, I look like I'm expecting a whole mess of babies.

Okay, I saved the best for last just to test if you would actually read the whole thing. I felt the baby move. Yes, I did. I know it's early but I totally did. It was last week and I was sitting at my desk and felt the most bizarre fluttering in my belly. I quit what I was doing and thought to myself that it's exactly what people say baby moving feels like but I knew it couldn't actually be it because it's early. It lasted on & off for about an hour and I had convinced myself it was digestion or something. Then I got on the precious internet and the official medical pregnancy sites (not the crazy lady forum ones) and they said it does sometimes happen as early as 14 weeks but most of the time women just pass it off as digestion or gas and it feels just like butterfly fluttering. It's called "quickening" (don't you like how I treat you like you have no knowledge of such things?) and it's quite literally the baby flipping around. Bizarre, I say but very exciting. Now if it could just speak into my bellybutton and tell me what to name it and what food would make it happy and what colours it would prefer for its room, I'll be happy.