I'm not feeling so neurotic about my mother choices these days. I found a very clear and easy way to come to terms with it. I was rocking Ben and feeding him the other night and those nagging thoughts started again that I was going to regret it when he's older. Then my common sense kicked in and I realised that there is no way in hell I will ever regret a single second of my time holding him. If he turns into a troublesome youth because of over-rocking then at least I'll have the most beautiful memories of holding him while he was a baby. I wouldn't trade that for all the well-trained sleeping babies in the world.
All else is going well. He does not care for the taste of his rice cereal and he makes faces that rival my own sour reactions to bad tastes (you don't want to see me gag on cough syrup) but if I enthusiastically cheer "Yay!" after every bite he yells back and laughs hysterically so we'll get through it. We've also turned his carseat around to face the front, which I love because I can see him in the mirror better and he can watch the world a little more. He's always staring at us now when we turn around to look at him and it cracks me up - a whole new window on life for the little guy I guess.
I'm doing okay with my walking, have done 4 or 5 days now I think. Maybe 3 or 4. I don't know. Anyway, Marcel walked with us yesterday and I managed to go again today. I'm just planning on going every day or at least every week day then try to do at least one active thing on the weekends as well. I have to get more energy because I just know Mr. Benjamin is going to be a handful when he's older and can get around on his own.
My goodness, this blog just turned into the single most exciting bit of literature on earth didn't it? How do you stand reading this crap? I always think of delightful things that I want to write about but by the time I actually open up my laptop all that comes out are these dregs. I need to keep a notebook handy but that seems like it would be taking myself too seriously. We'll see.