And now the time has come

Oh, my poor husband. He has to go back to work tomorrow after a long, relaxing, luxurious holiday with us at home. BWAHAHAHA! If there was a moment of relaxation for him, I was not aware of it. At least he'll be happy to be back in his little air conditioned edit suite with adults to talk to that aren't me. And while sleep training is not the best way to spend a vacation it has paid off big time. Ben is in his bed as we speak, probably still kicking around & talking to himself but not a tear in sight & he'll be asleep before we know it. He still won't sleep through the night but last night he only woke up ONCE. I'm not holding my breath for that happen again anytime soon but now when he wakes up we just give him a quick kiss on the head & say "It's time to sleep," sometimes give him a sip of water & he's out again like a light. No more rocking to sleep, no more breastfeeding to sleep, no more torture! 

Having said that, if anyone has a tip for how we can cut out the 2-3 times he wakes up between 1-5am that would be lovely. He's usually awake & ready to start the day by 5.30 or 6am, which is pretty painful but we're willing to adjust if he ever lets us have a full night's sleep.

Weaning is also going well. I'm not pulling him off cold turkey but he's gone a couple of days without it here & there but most days he has a single feed a few hours after he wakes up. I have to admit that it's heaven holding him in my arms those few minutes a day - I find myself thinking of how he used to drink around the bloody clock when he was younger. How did I survive that? Yikes.

Went back to the doctor & all is fine so that's good news. Also went to the eye doctor for an exam & all is well there too, which is extra good news because I have avoided the eye doctor for about 6 years & ordered my contacts online. I confessed all this to the eye doctor, who said I have amazing eyes for someone who has neglected them so much. Thanks ... I think? He was nice about it & said it's fine to order them online as long as I stay current with my exams, etc. My prescription has not changed in my left eye since I originally got glasses/contacts many moons ago & my right has only changed a smidgen. OH MY WORD, I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM WRITING ALL OF THIS IN MY BLOG. I AM BORING MYSELF AS I'M TYPING!!

Hmmm, what's more exciting? Oh, I know! We've dedicated way too much of our brainpower today trying to make up our list of the five celebrities we're allowed to cheat with if ever given the chance. I know you have your own list but have you updated it recently?? You better get on that - you don't want to miss out if you happen to bump into David Beckham but you still have Kirk Cameron on your list from yonks ago. You must be pretty old to have Kirk Cameron on your cheating list or you were having inappropriate thoughts for a kid watching Growing Pains.

Anyway, there was much debate for these lists - Marcel is an enigma wrapped in a riddle. It was like pulling teeth to get him to find ladies he liked! I listed every pretty young thing in Hollywood (& some not so pretty & young), striking out left & right. He thinks Jennifer Aniston has a "boofy" nose & Rachel Bilson (one he used to like) is now somehow funny looking? Sidenote: I am starting to believe that I must be a bazillion times more beautiful than I thought. But apparently I just wasn't going exotic enough because the ladies he finally agreed on were quite varied from a certain large-reared Kardashian to a certain Latina lovely whose name rhymes with Shmeva Shmendes but I promised not to reveal his thoughts. So on to me.

I was actually a little dismayed by my new list. It's mad white! Not just white, but really rather pasty white. What the hell? Why isn't Gael Garcia Bernal doing anything for me anymore? Duane Johnson just missed out by a hair this year but what happened to the other men of color that I'm usually drooling over? Marcel's list was a veritable United Nations of ladies but my boys would all probably freckle in the sun at best. Ah well, the heart wants what the heart wants ... I hope my heart isn't racist. Marcel referred to my gentlemen as sugar cookies so obviously others have noticed my lack of pigment. Here we go, starting with the duh & ending with the new guy but in no preferential order.

BONO

Granted, he has changed a little bit since I first loved him when I was 13:

1992

2010

So yeah, he's a little bit older but he's also a little bit wiser, a whole lot more famous & AS I ALWAYS PREDICTED he's done a bit of world-changing. Nothing hotter than a charismatic singer, an honest songwriter & oh yeah, he saves African babies in his spare time. 

DANIEL CRAIG

Marcel makes fun of his kissy lips face but Marcel's an idiot as that is but one of Daniel Craig's loveliest features. I had never seen a James Bond movie before Mr. Craig came along because a slick man in a suit didn't do much for me but lordy lordy once I got a gander of this one in 007 mode, suddenly that whole suave image with sports cars (usually a major snooze alert for me) totally made sense. He can do no wrong in my humble opinion. 

Please sir can I have some more? 

You're welcome.

MATT DAMON

This one is the biggest surprise to me. That's right, it's my own list & I'm still finding surprises. Matt Damon was probably the top of my list back in my first year or two of college when my best friend had Ben Affleck so it worked out perfectly. But while I've admired a hell of a lot of the acting he has done in the past 12 few years I wasn't lusting after him so much anymore. Two beautiful things happened:

1. 

If you guest star on 30 Rock, I automatically love you. If you do this while in uniform & do a hysterical Urkle impression & use the word "pubes," I will be halfway to adding you to my list of celebrities that I would run away with for a night.

2. 

If you have a big square head that is shaved, you have my attention (shall I remind you of how much I loved the first season of Prison Break where large shaved heads seemed to be a major theme?). If you can wear a uniform the way that Mr. Damon did in Green Zone, you have completed the other half of the 30 Rock equation to hop back on to me list after many years in exile. 

Welcome back, Matty boy - I missed you.

ROBERT DOWNEY JR

I think I would be both nervous & overly giggly if I were ever to meet Mr. Downey Jr & I doubt he likes either of those traits in a lady but I'm still keeping him on my list. I loved Sherlock Holmes so much that it made me forget that I fell asleep during Iron Man. Hell, I liked it so much that Jude Law almost managed to claw his way back on my list (I'm keeping my eye on you Jude just in case you surprise me next year). Anyway, RDJ is one of those men who has aged exceedingly well & he makes me use the word "wit" more often than is necessary.

ZAC EFRON

Shut up. 

So when I was pregnant we went to more movies than usual because people kept warning us that our movie-watching days were soon to be over (they weren't wrong) but I think we watched 17 Again because I had a vicious popcorn craving & there was nothing else to watch. I thought it was just my shady hormones at work but alas, I still find myself fawning over Mr. Efron like a schoolgirl. Well, except for the fact that the schoolgirls have moved on to new boys or vampires or whatever they're into these days. I also loved Hairspray & may have sat through High School Musical when I stumbled upon it at 7 in the morning. 

I seriously giggled so much during 17 Again that Marcel knew I was somehow trying to flirt with Zac Efron telepathically or something. It wasn't my proudest moment.

I actually googled "Zac Efron shirtless" but then felt so skeezy that I couldn't bring myself to use any of the pictures. I wouldn't judge you if you chose to google it yourself. He's not actually 17 ya know, just because he was in a movie about being 17. It's not illegal. It could totally happen.

---------------------------------

So there we have it, my list. Do you remember the Friends episode where Ross made his list, then printed & laminated it? Yeah, I'm not doing that. And while typing this Marcel has hemmed & hawed some more & still can't settle on 5 girls - I'm pretty sure he thinks this is some life contract that can never be revoked & it makes me think that he is honestly expecting to stumble upon the wrong Kardashian at the mall & he's going to curse himself. 

Now you go work on your list & let me know who you've got in mind.