sweet & sour indeed

Okay, no celebrity relationship essays today, I promise. I think I have had enough of analyzing strangers' love lives for a few days at least ... unless you have something juicy to share. Anyway, today has been pretty darn good. At the last minute before leaving for play group, dragging my feet because we were late already & I wasn't in the mood for polite chit chat & chasing The Wanderer, I got a text message to see if I wanted to come to a friend's house for a visit with her toddler & newborn. YES! So nice to have someone share & maybe bitch with a bit while the kids play & fight & make a mess.

It is quite eye-opening to see how Ben reacts with little babies. He pretty much ignored him while his mom was holding him but the second I had the little bundle of cuddly heaven in my arms, Ben was on it like white on rice! It's like he could not physically resist reaching for the baby. Very soft touches, thankfully but he wanted to touch his nose & hands & stroke his hair. Very strange but quite beautiful.

The lovely world of Benjamin is growing everyday. He is definitely saying a lot more words, not that you would understand most of them but Marcel & I doing an okay job of deciphering. Today he learned "tractor" while being out on the friends' property. He LOVED the tractor. I think my favorite words of his are "moon" & "star." I don't really know how he picked those up because we never really put any effort into pointing that sort of stuff out to him, though I'm sure we've mentioned them. But now if we're outside at night he'll point out the stars & the moon (even if it's not technically visible). Something about it just makes me feel very warm like he's recognizing his place in the world but that's probably the crazy in me talking.

Speaking of my crazy, I have been in a foul mood this week for absolutely no reason. I am feeling fantastic physically, almost like I'm not pregnant at all except for all the wriggling in my tummy & that constant little shadow of tiredness. It dawned on me in my 4am reflection this morning (I'll get to that shortly) that duh, it's probably just a new wave of hormones. I tend to forget that even when things are going very well in pregnancy there are still crap side effects like turning into a sociopath around the people you love most. Marcel & I weren't speaking to each other by the end of the night after many exchanges like this:

M: Hey, puffy hair!
A: WHAT THE HELL?? You know I can't handle insults like that right now.
M: Ummm, I was kidding. Why are you in such a bad mood?
A:  I AM NOT IN A BAD MOOD!! And when people are in bad moods they really don't want someone constantly asking why.
M: You sound like you're in a bad mood.
A: Well, NOW I'm in a bad mood.

I'm not proud but I have very little control over some of the pregnancy nuttiness. Another example would be the fact that I've been craving sweet & sour chicken for a few days. Not sure where this came from but I was doing an okay job of ignoring it. Then bloody Masterchef last night had the stupid contestants cook sweet & sour pork. WHAT? WHY? They kept talking about how old fashioned & 80s it was blah blah blah so why on earth would they choose it?? I'll tell you why. To kill me. I woke up with Ben a couple of times last night - he was just whiny & restless in his sleep & after two years I still am not able to ignore it so I checked on him. After the second time, I couldn't get back to sleep around 3.30am so I ended staying awake almost 2 hours. What do you think I thought about for 2 hours? Sweet & sour chicken. I may as well break down my inner monologue for you:

A: I wish they hadn't cooked sweet & sour anything on Masterchef.
A: I have no choice but to get some tomorrow.
A: I don't think I've had it anywhere around here. Well, that one place at Erina has it but they don't use the battered chicken. That's probably healthier.
A: ACK! I don't want healthier. I want battered chicken in my sweet & sour chicken.
A: I'm going to throw up if I have Chinese food. I know this. I shouldn't do it.
A: Seriously, I have to have it.
A: Seriously, it will make me throw up. I always get ridiculously ill when I have Chinese food. Except that one place in Mt. Juliet with the delicious sesame chicken.
A: Maybe I should make my own. How painful could that be? Must google recipes in the morning. OH! What about sesame chicken?? Even better.

TWO HOURS of this train of thought was just over the top. I did some research online this morning & couldn't find many Chinese menus online to check whether restaurants used battered chicken or not. I stopped myself before resorting to calling around. Painfully long story short, I made myself some chicken fried rice & this weekend will break down & make myself some sweet & sour chicken. Or sesame chicken. I hope I sleep well tonight. And dear Lord in Heaven, please make those bozos on Masterchef (they're not bozos, they are delightful chefs) cook something finicky, fussy & not capable of making me crave it. Pleeeease.