20 January 2010


Well, well, well, look who doesn't learn a lesson? I just got myself another spray tan. I have yet to do any major damage to it and Ben doesn't have any tan stains ... yet. His clothes have blotches but that's a-okay because it washes right out. And I'm a little thinker. I wore some of those sticky pasty things over my nipples so Ben wouldn't end up with a tan goatee again after drinking. THINKER. Now if I can survive this bloody hot day without sweating the tan off I'll be happy. It's supposed to be even hotter tomorrow so we'll be hitting either the beach or a nice local pool to cool off and I'd love to not have streaks running down my new brown legs. Please, just let me have one victory.

Ben closed the drawer on his fingers again today. I saw him going towards the drawer and I went after him, giving him an obnoxious speech while on my way about "You know you're just going to open the drawer then somehow slam your fingers in it again ..." Why do I give him speeches instead of rushing there and stopping the disaster. Such a good mother. Then crack I see the drawer whack three little adorable fingers. He screamed, he cried, I gave him an ice pack and that completely distracted him from meltdown. But then he fell down about a million times and whacked his head so it has been a wonderfully pleasant day around here. He just fell again as I was typing this but no tears, he landed on a book and just picked it up & started flipping through it while laying on the ground. Such a sweety.

I desperately want some chocolate today but it ain't happening. I was going to make some of those brownie cookies again but we're out of flour. I can't go out of the house while my tan is setting - no makeup, no bra, no sweating allowed. No one needs to see me in this state. I even pulled my hessian sack gown out. This is the most hideous piece of clothing that ever existed - just a gray straight cotton gown that reaches my ankles. It's Calvin Klein but there is nothing stylish about it. Marcel has threatened to burn it but I keep hiding it. Normally I pull it out only when I'm sick and need the comfort because it's so light it doesn't piss me off when I'm ill but also keeps me covered enough to be warm. It doesn't make sense but you don't care anyway.

I think I just saw a commercial that mentioned Police Academy will be on Tuesday night. Yessss! Life is  beautiful.

Okay, I'm off to find my son. Five bucks says I find him with a flip flop in his mouth. They say we should let our children be exposed to dirty to keep them resistant to germs so he should be super strong.

P.S. Forgot to mention that after the second slamming of the fingers, I taped the drawers closed with packing tape. Very attractive and free compared to the plastic little doodads to officially lock them up. I'll probably still get the doodads because I have this terrible feeling that Ben is going to peel the tape off and eat it (even though he won't eat anything else)... then slam his fingers in the drawer again.

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